I've never regretted any of the choices I've made in college; not my choice of major, not my course selection, the places I've chosen to live, or the groups I've chosen to participate in. There's never been a decision I've desperately wished to go back and change.
All except for one.
I waited six semesters--count them, six!--to take the 1000 level math class that was the only math class I would need during my time here at LSU.
As 1000 level math classes do, this requires me to spend three hours a week in the LSU math lab, located on the third floor of Middleton.
For those of us who've never experienced it, the LSU math lab is a hellscape of purple and gray monotones where we must spend a certain number of hours a week in order to get credit for class. The only thing you are allowed to do in the math lab is your math homework. And if it doesn't take you three hours to do your math homework? Too bad. Sit there and suffer.
However, instead of doing math, I spent a good half hour in the lab coming up with X places that I would rather be, than be at the LSU math lab.
1. A Sean Spicer press briefing
You heard me. I'd rather sit in an uncomfortable wooden chair in a row of journalists clutching photocopies of the First Amendment just in case, listening to the White House press secretary smack his thirtieth piece of gum in an hour, than be at the math lab.
2. Putin's Russia
I mean, aren't we basically headed there anyway?
3. The middle of a Wall of Death at a heavy metal concert
4. The actual Sun
I'd be okay with burning to a small, unrecognizable crisp, if you want to know the truth.
5. The super Wal-Mart on College Dr.
Or, as I like to call it, the Murder Wal-Mart.
6. An All Lives Matter protest
That's right. I would rather be deaf, dumb and blind to Actual Evidence and Facts, than spend three hours in the math lab.
(Alright, maybe not)
7. The Arctic tundra
8. The LSU student section in the fourth quarter, going 0-50 against Bama
9. Traffic on I-10
10. Literally anywhere else on Earth
So here's some advice, my fellow Tigers: if you, like me, have to take at least one math class at LSU, save yourself some heartache and take business calculus. There's no math lab there.
