You may think that steam comes out of people's ears only in cartoons, but oh no, oh no, it happens in real life too.
Especially in these dreadful moments...
1. Gulping
I'm sorry, did you just swallow an apple whole? Because nothing else would be able to explain the sound you just made.
2. When someone chews with their mouth open
It's not like it's impressive that you can chew things in your mouth. We can all do it too.
3. Screeching noises when someone is cutting their food
Like fingernails on a chalk board, this one gives me the goosebumps. If you dare do this on a date, just know there probably will not be a second one.
4. Banging of pots and pans in the kitchen
It's ok. It's not like I am trying to watch TV in the living room or anything. Your one man band is more important anyways.
5. When someone accidentally steps on the back of your shoe
They may immediately say "oh I'm so sorry," and you may say "oh, yeah it's okay," but in your head a full on outrage is taking place. You take them to the ground and smack them in the face with the shoe that they just made you step out of.
6. People walking slowly in front of you
You try to veer right to pass them, and they also veer right. Swerve left, and they do too. This is when you wish you would've attempted hurdles on the track team in high school because it would've come in handy now.
7. Talking during movies
I'm sorry, but I don't know what's going to happen either, so stop asking me. Oh and while you're at it, can you stop rummaging for popcorn during all the quiet, suspenseful building moments in the film? Okay, thanks.
8. People who sniff and cough and sneeze during tests
I just pulled an all-nighter studying for this, and your stupid dripping nose is going to ruin it. Sniff one more time, I dare you, and I will throw a box of Kleenex at the back of your head.
9. When someone forgets your name or calls you by the wrong name
It's cool. And your name is a**hole right?
10. When someone sings along to your favorite song and messes up the lyrics...and then continues to keep singing.
There's a reason they were chosen to sing the song, so unless you are going to nail every lyric, please look into becoming a mime.
