Earlier this semester, I found myself eating breakfast with a very self-assured, rather conceited junior who, when asked about what he would be doing over the summer, replied with a careless wave of a hand, "Oh, nothing too exciting, my father knows somebody at BLANK who got me an internship with their company."

What this BLANK he mentioned actually was I can't recall, only that it was the name of some very prestigious company that probably had something to do with the UN or a bank, and that following the conversation all I could think about was the various jobs my dad could use his position as "Yard master" of the Everett branch of BNSF Railroad to finagle for me (I don't say this ashamedly in any way, simply as a point of comparison!). My personal belief is that success is earned, not given. Of course, this doesn't change the unfortunate truth that getting what you want does come easier if you know the "right" people.

Lucky for those of us who can't intern at the Capitol with a quick phone call, this so-called circle of "right" people to know does not have to be perfectly delineated to work: in other words, theres a whole bunch of people out there one doesn't normally think of as particularly beneficial to befriend but who, if one makes it into their inner sanctum, can use their particular niches in the college environment to give you a leg up in life. I thus present to you my list of the top 5 people- though many more are out there- who are often overlooked as illustrious figures of society to get to know in order to achieve those small successes in life, whose magic lies in their simplicity, and if you look close enough, are the ones that truly make the world go round.

1. The janitor

Oftentimes only thought about in sentences of the "did you see the present someone left in the third stall" category, the members of the janitor crew are the unsung heroes of every semi-functioning college campus. Why they aren't at the top of everybody's people-to-shmooze-with list proves that those who think they know how to make it successfully at University clearly lack the kind of commonsense that those of us who find ourselves relegated to the underbelly of campus society have honed to a fine point for a number of reasons. The first is that ever present, slightly rusty set of keys that can without a doubt always be found hanging from a belt loop. Don't think of them as mundane hunks of metal that let one into classrooms and broom closets. Rather, understand that they are the tools that can open the room with the giant projector and screen for you and your crew to have in-home movie nights, or let you into the library after hours to snag that book that is vital to your poli-sci paper due at 8:00 am sharp.

Want to pull a Dumbledore's Army and start up a secret society complete with having secret meetings? Think of the janitor as your room of requirement, with his all-access eligibility, the world of little known spaces on your campus becomes your oyster.

2. The person who swipes your card for meals

Aka the most valuable person in your college-era life, now that its ruled by poverty and a near-constant need for the fuel of caffeine and midnight boxes of fries. If your campus is anywhere as concerned as mine that nobody eats a meal without sacrificing an overly expensive swipe of your ID, they will have a stationed intimidatory-but-not-too-angry looking employee in front of the entrance to the cafeteria. This usually means an older lady who looks like the type of grandma that takes you out for ice cream after your piano recital but won't hesitate to whack your shins with her cane if she gets any back talk. Acquainting yourself with this curmudgeonly-swiping specimen may seem pointless at first, but as the weeks pass and you find yourself often forgetting your ID somewhere at mealtimes, this friendship built on warmly-smiled greetings (using first names, of course- and, if your feeling particularly brazen, a wink) will prove invaluable.

What's more, the best part about this relationship isn't evening the bending of the rigid rules of swiping and meal plans for your sake. It's the blind-eye the swiper will turn to that coffee mug your smuggling out of the cafeteria to strengthen your utensils collection at home, the napkins filled with pilfered cereal stuffed under your jacket giving the impression of a misshapen beer belly. Just watch as your peers try the same tactic with fat stacks of pastries without the special badge of camaraderie you boast: they'll be nailed to the spot by the swiper's icy glare and crookedly-pointing finger of shame before even a toe's crossed the line to freedom.

3. The chef who works the breakfast shift

One of the most important lessons I've learned at college insofar is that if your school lacks an omelet bar, its safe to say their probably using part of your tuition to pay for cheerful-looking models in their twenty-somethings with no more and no less than one minority in the group to pose in the cafeteria as if the "gourmet" food their consuming is really whats making this whole college thing happen for them. Why do they need to have a photo shoot to convey this? Because no student is ever going to look that happy at breakfast when their only option is a slab of rubbery scrambled eggs- no omelet bar in sight.

Luckily, getting around this grand oversight of your schools' kitchen management is quite easy. Usually there will be a chef cooking the eggs and pancakes being served for breakfast in the usual assembly-line style right behind the counter; befriend them, and your problem is solved. Soon you'll be skipping the line to personally request eggs cooked however you fancy, making the omelet-bar kids gape in awe at your good rapport with the chef and piping hot plate of over-easy's laid on a bed of crispy hash browns.

4. The registrar

First thing they'll tell you is to not be afraid to go talk to your professor, so you can establish a good footing with them and ensure they'll be able to connect your name to your face. Sure, these guys might be the ones who do the teaching, but you can only gain something from the classes if you're present in the class to learn. This is why, a few weeks before registration time rolls around, the registrar becomes your new best friend and advisor. As the person who will physically be overseeing the organization of your schedule, they can control the fate of your education with the click of a button. And if you're buddy-buddy with them, then you have a much better chance of cajoling them into dropping some poor kid's ass out of that 10 person paleontology class you really want to take in order to make room for you. So put your fate in your own hands, and make those office-dwellers love you like their own child.

5. Whoever sits next to you in that really hard math class

Its simple, really: body language reflects level of comfort and friendliness with others. Therefore, a body facing slightly more in another's direction correlates directly with the intimacy between the two people. Applied to that really hard math class of there's a good chance you will find yourself in at one point or another, and we see that befriending your closest neighbor is strategic when it comes to test taking. Because they feel comfortable around you they may be turned more toward you, and their paper will be tilted right along with them, and who are you to pass up a willing donor of knowledge?