My mom is obsessed with Facebook. Actually, my whole family is. While I'm all for adults learning how to use technology, a lot of times they make mistakes—sometimes really creepy ones—when using it. One time I was going through my mom's pictures on her phone and realized that she saves, literally, every single picture I am tagged in on Facebook. Every single one.
Now, while my mom stays on the down-low and stalks in secret, my dad on the other hand is very open about it. He will share a minimum of 15 posts a day and will comment a paragraph on every picture I post or am tagged in. I don't get embarrassed that easily so I usually just laugh, except for the one time he decided it would be cool to post a video of me working out at the gym. Not cool, dad. Here are other funny, weird things that all parents like to do on Facebook.
1. Comment on absolutely everything.
And by everything, I mean, everything. Whenever I am tagged on anything on Facebook, I already know the notifications that are coming. Picture of me hiking? Comment. Picture of me from 2006? Comment. Picture of me with a boy? Comments... a lot of them. If you are a boy and a picture of us has been posted on any form of social media, just know that that picture has been screenshot and sent on several group messages with my family and will probably get a lot of questions in the comments section. My grandmother once commented on a picture of me and a good guy friend asking if I had a new boyfriend. Luckily, my family speaks in Spanish so no one understood what she was saying.
2. Mess up tagging.
I was recently talking to a friend about the struggles of parents on Facebook, and she told me how her mother tags herself in every picture my friend is tagged in. I thought it was the funniest thing in the world. I love moms. Usually mine just tags me in random posts that have nothing to do with me, like a picture of a salad, a group photo of all of her friends in college, or an article on the population of Alaska.
3. Post pictures of everyone and everything.
I don't know about your parents, but mine are obsessed with selfies. They take them everywhere they go to from all different sorts of weird angles. If we go on any form of vacation, my dad will create albums of 200 pictures for each day and write personalized captions for every single picture. Most of them are close-ups of my face. It's great, really.
4. Check in.
A mom favorite. Anywhere we go my mom checks in. If we go to the movies she will "check us in" at the movie theater, post the movie we're watching, and tag everyone who is with us. If we go out to eat, by the time I get my drink, my mom has already checked in and posted five pictures.
5. Share viral YouTube videos from years ago.
My mom is always sharing videos that are so old it actually blows my mind that people are still watching them. She will text me, "Hey! Did you see the video of that cat getting tickled?" Yes, mom. I saw it three years ago. The most popular ones are American Idol auditions, dogs being scared of cats, little kids who are really good at dancing, wedding fails, Ellen DeGeneres clips, and the Dove Beauty Campaign.
6. Share quotes.
My family is Catholic so there are a lot of pictures of the Pope with quotes written in cursive over them. Other popular ones are usually a picture of a sunset at the beach,or a field of flowers with a quote about the importance of being yourself. There's also the occasional yoga pose picture explaining how meditation relieves anxiety. And finally, my favorite, the "SHARE IF YOUR DAUGHTER IS BEAUTIFUL AND SMART" picture-quote thing. Thanks, mom.
7. Share really random and weird pictures.
Sometimes parents share pictures where the only reaction you have for them is, "What?" My best friend's mom one time shared a picture of a rainbow kitten that had butterfly wings. My mom one time shared a picture of three dogs who appeared to be high with the quote "you feel it yet?" under it. Mom, what? While I know some people have "cool moms" that are very into alcohol and drugs and would think the picture is funny, my mom is the actual complete opposite of this, so that picture was really weird. Once I explained to her what the picture meant she deleted it.
8. Disagree with you on almost everything.
One time I shared an article about how people with messy rooms are more creative and intelligent. For the next four days I kept getting notifications on that post from several family members saying that I needed to clean my room because my mom said so and that the article was fake. It was supposed to be a joke. Whatever. That's one of the bad things about Facebook; someone always has something to say. At least my mom has stopped requesting I take down pictures because I'm wearing something other than a turtleneck and it's inappropriate, I guess.
9. Make up acronyms.
Parents always want to stay up-to-date with what their kids are doing. I've noticed my mom and her friends all have random acronyms that they've made up themselves, or they'll try to use the normal ones (LOL, WTF, ILY) but totally mess them up. My mom is a huge fan of "ily". She uses that one correctly, though.
10. Post dramatic articles on your wall.
When my mom found out I was using a self-tanning lotion (now everyone knows my secret), she started sending me around 6 articles a day about skin cancer. While I continued to tell her that I wasn't going to the tanning bed, she still kept sending me articles about the dangers of tanning beds. This is just one occasion of many. Whenever there is a fraternity scandal anywhere in the country, my mom is the first person to post it on my wall. "Honey, be careful!!!!!!!" Yes, mom.
11. Brag about you.
Writing a paragraph-long status about my accomplishments is definitely one of my dad's favorite things to do. All of my parents' friends think I'm a writer for Saturday Night Live after my dad posted a status about me becoming a writer for The Odyssey. It was so long and exaggerated that people actually think I am a celebrity now. My parents will make any simple accomplishment look like the most amazing thing in the world. If I made cupcakes one day because I was bored at home, my parents will make it look like I made the cupcakes blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back and won first place in Cupcake Wars.
