"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." ~ Albert Einstein
1. Go to the gym.
Gym owners expect disloyalty, enticing you with ridiculously low rates in January and locking you into expensive payment plans. Save your money and just do some push-ups.
2. Eat healthier.
The dieting cycle: Step 1) Deprive yourself of the cookies, cakes, sodas. Step 2) Feel starved. Step 3) Binge eat all the foods you missed. Step 4) Feel guilty. Step 5) Emotional eat. Preventative measures: just eat the damn cake in the first place.
3. Stop procrastinating.
Get real.
4. Be more productive.
Read item 3.
5. Read more books.
If you hate books and reading so much that your goal is to read, making a reading to-do list will only increase your dislike for literature.
6. Sleep more.
In the words of Benjamin Franklin, "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" ... until you realized you failed to keep the past three resolutions and need to read 40 pages for your exam tomorrow.
7. Spend less money.
Re-read the second resolution, replace with retail therapy.
8. Swear less.
Psychologists have found that using expletives alleviates pain. Why would you rob yourself of relief when you stub your toe on that same #$!@ing table leg?
9. Be nicer.
Just accept your Grinch-iness. Why sacrifice something that makes you unique?
10. Spending more time with family.
Similar to the fifth resolution, if family is difficult now with the current amount of time you spend with them, adding to this time will only fester bitterness and hostility.
But seriously, "resolution" assumes that there is a problem that needs to be fixed. Nothing is wrong with you. Instead, strive to be the best version of you that you can be instead of fixing or getting rid of faults.
Self-improvement is positive and healthy, but if you are committed to change, rearrange your priorities. If something matters to you, you'll get it done.
