10 Moments From The Room That Will Tear You Apart

10 Moments From The Room That Will Tear You Apart

Hahaha, what a story Mark!
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We've all heard about the saying "so bad, it's good". This saying is used to describe movies that fail so miserably at every level, that we can't help but get an ironic sense of enjoyment watching them. Tommy Wiseau's 2003 disaster-piece The Room is the pinnacle of this kind of movie. The Room revolves around a man named Johnny (played by the aforementioned Wiseau, who was also the film's writer, director, and producer), whose future wife (not to be confused with fiance) cheats on him with his best friend. With that kind of plot, you would expect this movie to a by the number drama at best. However, the supreme awkwardness of that shines through every scene and line has propelled this film into what many have called "The Citizen Kane of Bad Movies". The story behind this bizarre movie has been documented in the novel Disaster Artist (written by Greg Sestero, who starred in the movie), which has a film adaptation coming out next month. In honor of said release, We're gonna look at the 10 most bizarre and ridiculous moments from the most bizarre and ridiculous movie you'll ever see.

10. The Awkward Sex Scenes

With a premise that revolves around infidelity, you'd be correct in assuming that there's plenty of sex scenes in this movie. You'd also be correct in assuming that they extremely awkward. While most movies with sex scenes keep them to around 30 seconds, The Room's go on for about a couple minutes each (usually with a soundtrack not unlike one from a porno). The chief of these scenes is undoubtedly the first love scene between Johnny and his future wife Lisa. In this awkward gem of a scene, we see a couple of minutes of foreplay, followed by Johnny (to put it clean) missing the mark. This scene is capped off by a shot of Johnny's glorious posterior (because he was convinced he needed to show it for the movie to sell).

9. Denny... Just Denny

With the exception of Johnny, the characters in The Room don't come much more awkward than Denny. They also don't come more creepy. When we first see Denny, he seems to be a normal college kid whose friends with Johnny and Lisa (the exact details of the relationship are never explained). That all changes when Denny breaks up Johnny and Lisa's pre-sex pillow fight, stating that he just likes to watch them. That scene is just the first of many awkward and creepy moments Denny has in this movie. To quote CinemaSins "God, Denny is a creepy bastard".

8. What a Story, Mark!

As you can probably tell, even the more "serious" scenes in The Room are easily derailed by its addiction to awkwardness. A chief example of this is when Johnny is talking to his friend Mark (who is having an affair with Lisa) on the rooftop of his apartment. When they start talking about how people are not always what they seem, Mark recounts how he knew a girl who had a relationship with 12 different guys, and was beaten by one of them when they find out. It is at this moment where we find out that Johnny finds domestic violence hilarious, as he lets out a big laugh and proclaims (horribly dubbed) "What a story, Mark!". I guess the Ray Rice video was comedy gold to him.

7. You're Not My F****** Mother!

Going back to Denny for a second, we eventually find out that, along with being a creep, he is also a druggie. After Denny is saved by Johnny and Mark after his drug dealer holds him a gun point, he confuses his drug use to Lisa and her mother, all while Lisa hysterically screams the whole time. Lisa mother's especially gets in Denny's face about this, to which he reminds her that she's not his "f****** mother". By the way, this drug story is never brought up again (like many things in this movie).

6. The Flower Shop Scene

Perhaps no scene in this movie shows Tommy Wiseau's clumsy directing than this one. It starts with Johnny going into a flower shop to get roses for Lisa. The shop owner comments on how she didn't recognize Johnny at first (even though no one on Earth looks like Johnny). After getting his flowers, Johnny notices a dog on the counter and says "Hi, doggie", which has become one of the movie's more infamous lines. Everything in this scene goes so fast, its hard to keep track of what's going on.

5. Breast Cancer Chat

One thing you will notice when watching this film is that a good chunk of it is pointless. Most of this draws to the film repeating itself over and over again. One of the biggest culprits of this is the conversations between Lisa and her mother. These scenes have a certain distinct format: Lisa says she doesn't want talk about something, proceeds to talk about it, whines about how she doesn't love Johnny any more, while her mother claims that love is meaningless. However, one of these scenes goes through a brief bizarrely hilarious digression. In this particular scene, Lisa's mother calmly reveals that she has breast cancer; which Lisa shrugs off, saying that she will be fine. Like many other things in this movie, this revelation is never mentioned again.

4. How's Your Sex Life?

Leave it to this movie to turn a simple conversion into something totally different. It starts with Mark and Johnny talking about Johnny's job. After Mark fails to get Johnny to talk about some "confidential information," Johnny changes the subject by saying "Anyway, how is your sex life?" Surprisingly, the conversation ends shortly after this conversation.

3. The Entire 3rd Act

Like I said before, a good chunk of this movie is pretty much pointless. You could skip everything between Mark and Lisa's affair starting and this entry and not miss a thing that affects the plot in any way. How does this movie make up for it? By having a shit load of things happen in the third act. The whole thing starts simply with a surprise party for Johnny. From that point, everything and anything possible happens. We see that Mark and Lisa have been found out (by a guy who hasn't appeared in the movie at this point), Lisa lied to Johnny about being pregnant, Johnny and Mark finally get into a fight, Lisa leaves Johnny, Johnny nonchalantly Hulk-smashes his way through his apartment, humps the red dress he gave to Lisa at the beginning of the movie (really), and Johnny commits suicide. Oh, and Johnny is really a vampire. Ok, that last one didn't happen (though it could have), but it might has have.

2. I Did Nauuught! Oh, Hi, Mark.

As the film's second most famous scene, this moment offers a lot of unintentional comedy. It starts with Johnny talking to himself about Lisa accusing him of hitting her. Johnny rants about the accusation is not true, and is suddenly calmed down by the mere sight of Mark. Beside this moment being horribly acted, it is just so hilarious that Johnny goes from being furious over being accused of domestic abuse, to normaly calm over the sight of Mark. Oh, and just so we're clear: He did not hit her! It's not true! It's bullshit! He did not hit her! He did nauuught! Oh, hi, next entry.

1. You're Tearing Me Apart, Lisa!

This scene has become the most infamous part of this movie. I could go on a long diatribe about why this scene is so magical, but I won't. This scene must be seen to be believed. It is the perfect reason why you should watch this movie. If you don't, then you're just a little chicken. Cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep cheep!


Cover Image Credit: Wikipedia

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