1. "I believe in God, man. I’ve seen him. I’ve felt his power. He plays drums for Led Zeppelin and his name is John Bonham baby!"

2. "Sam, bodies are merely a shell to conceal our heavenly souls."

3. "You couldn't be in love with someone you cant cut the cheese in front of."

4. "Just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean that she is cool."

5. "Greetings, Princess. It is I, Carlos the Dwarf. The Dragon has been slain and you are free to roam your kingdom."

6. What if she puts her tongue too far in my mouth? Wh-what if I throw up? What if I throw up all over? What if I throw up in her mouth?!"

7. "You cut me off mid-funk."

8. "Yeah, well, you know I listen to obscure stuff, too."

9. "This is my passion, you know? This is the essence of who I am. But before I had this I was lost, you see what I am saying? You gotta find your reason for living."

10. "You just keep those boys away from your accordion."