Cancer sucks.
It is as simple as that.
Cancer sucks.
One of my parents journeyed for nine months with terminal cancer before they were called home to be with the Lord. My perspective on life has turned completely upside down. When your parent is battling a deadly disease, it changes you. For good or for bad, it changes you.
For those of you who have not and hopefully will not experience a parent going through terminal cancer, here are ten life lessons I learned throughout that nine month journey:
1. Petty things are...well...PETTY.
Do not let petty things get to you. They do not matter AT ALL. People will say things without thinking it through. People are going to hurt you, in minuscule and in massive ways. Do not let those little hurts ruin your day. The word petty literally means, of little importance; trivial. Do not let trivial hurts/problems run your emotions. That is a dangerous place to be. Life is so much more than the trivial; so, do not waste your breath nor your worry on the stupid little things of the everyday.
2. Make every effort to verbally tell others how much they impact you/how much you love them.
You never know what could be around the corner hour by hour. I believe there are many Millennials (myself included) who are so afraid of over-using the word love that they refrain from saying it altogether. When you love someone, tell them. Tell them today. Tell them within the hour. Tell them right now. You never know when your last "normal day" with someone may be, so take every advantage to love on people with all you have.
3. There is so much beauty in normalcy.
We despise and wish-away the mundane and the normal, but there may come a day when normalcy is what you are crying out for and what you desperately desire. When you can no longer experience a "normal day" like you had the past twenty years of your life, you realize the beauty in the mundane.
4. Never leave someone with mad words.
You never know when your last chance to talk to someone may be. You would not want the last words you had with someone be hurtful or full of hate/malice. If there is a problem with someone, work it out right then. No one likes confrontation, so just suck it up and do it. Never lay your head on your pillow at night with unresolved conflict.
5. Sometimes, life requires facing your fears head on.
As a child, I had always feared losing a parent. The thought of it kept me up at night. So, naturally, beginning the journey of walking through terminal cancer with a parent as a freshman in college was a nightmare. I was scared. Life requires looking fear in the face and choosing not to let fear run your decisions and your life. Sometimes, life means being scared. What would you do if your worst fear became your closest reality?
6. Make every moment count.
Every day counts. Every hour counts. Every minute counts and every second counts. We always hear "live like you are dying" and other variations of the same saying. But, what about living like someone you dearly love is dying? Someone you rely on for a sense of comfort, protection, encouragement, support and love? Every moment is a gift from the King of Kings; make it count.
7. Put those you love first.
Time is so very short with those we love here on earth. Do not let people pressure you into putting less important commitments above your family/friends. You'd never want to look back in regret and wish you spent more time with those you love.
8. Never tell someone "let me know if you need anything"; just do it.
When going through a painful tragedy, people will tell you left and right to "call me if you need anything". While that is a nice offer, I have a million things going on in my head and in my life I do not have time to sit and tell you all the details of something I need done. Think of something that may bless them? Just do it. Offering and taking initiative are two completely separate things. Take the initiative and just do something. Bless people without needing permission. Love people without needing permission.
9. Weakness is a good thing. Embrace your weaknesses.
2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 says, "But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
Quit thinking you have to be the strong one in your situation. It is a beautiful thing to be weak. It is a humbling thing to be weak. You cannot be the strength for everyone around you. It'll make you go crazy. Live freely, knowing your weaknesses can and will be used to show His strength in you. When you are living in the freedom of Christ amidst tragedy, He is glorified. When pride is left at the front door and weakness is willingly admitted, His strength is magnified.
10. Without God, walking through terminal cancer with someone you love dearly, is impossible.
Without the hope that comes from the Gospel of Christ, I do not know how people cope with the loss of someone so dear. Christ promises that all those who are in Him when they die, will be raised to life again when He returns. Because of His perfect, blameless, spotless sacrifice, this life on earth is not the "end-all, be-all".
Through my parent's nine month battle, my perspective on everything changed drastically.
Life is so much sweeter.
Life is viewed as a gift rather than a privilege. I have been given this life, not because of anything I have done to earn it, but because I have a loving Creator who made me and who made you.
Experience Christ today.
Live fearlessly in spite of what may lie ahead.
Life is a gift; live in the light of that beautiful truth.
Hug your mom.
Hug your dad.
