After going through a pretty bad breakup over the summer I decided to see what all the hype was about with this Tinder thing and boy was that a mistake. I found out some interesting things about myself, though, that I might not otherwise have learned.
1. I don't need a guy to make me feel beautiful. I am capable of getting up, looking in the mirror, and giving myself a compliment. There is no reason I should have to rely on a random guy to verify that I am pretty.
2. If I look for guys in the wrong places I will find the wrong guys. Resorting to Tinder, an app commonly used to find hookups, to help find a serious relationship might not always give the desired results.
3. Dating is not a game. When Tinder was first released it was described as a game where you can swipe left and right on who you think is hot or not. People always complain about others not taking dating seriously or "playing games" but they continue to use apps like Tinder as a way to find partners.
4. I only wanted the attention I was getting, I never found a guy I actually liked for his personality. I loved waking up to messages on my phone screen from guys who thought I was interesting or hot or who just wanted to get to know me, but that didn't mean that I wanted a relationship with them.
5. I realized I have a type. I always went for the same guys on Tinder; Tall, athletic, minimal facial hair, pretty eyes, and something funny or clever in their profile. Once I started looking elsewhere I noticed all the different "types" out there and decided I should try to branch out.
6. I missed out on a lot of awesome guys in my everyday life because my head was stuck in my phone screen swiping left and right. I later realized that I have several great guys who are relationship material in my life right now but I couldn't see it because I was too busy judging guys online based on their appearances.
7. I learned what I actually want in a guy. Yes, being attractive is a perk, but I really want someone who will listen to me, someone who will try to make me laugh, who will be there for me, someone who has similar beliefs as me, someone who isn't afraid to be honest with me, and someone I feel comfortable with. But Tinder profiles don't usually reveal much about those things.
8. It was hard to tell if I had real chemistry with someone through my phone screen. They might say something funny in a message but that doesn't mean they would ever say that in person. I spent awhile trying to decide what to reply back, but when put in a real life situation you can't really pause to think about how to respond.
9. The app was addicting. I would be in the middle of studying and stop to take a break and find myself on Tinder 45 minutes later, or when watching Netflix, I look down for a second and I look back up and Monica and Chandler are already getting married.
10. Whenever I would decline things like sex and hookups, I would get called some not so appropriate things that made me feel terrible about myself. This caused me to go seek attention from other matches on the app. It was a vicious cycle.
Just because Tinder isn't for me does not mean it isn't for you. I know plenty of people who have found great guys using online dating and are now in happy relationships. Be the judge for yourself and know what you want and what is best for you.
