"Halloweekend" is in the past, but the memories will surely live on forever. If you are a University of Utah student, you probably meandered down to U street on Saturday to witness the seemingly endless debauchery taking place. Flashback to last year when people were crowd surfing, an astronaut offered to take me to the moon, and cops lined the street throwing tear gas. College kids mixed with Halloween exposes what is really wrong with humanity... or what is awesome about it depending on how you look at it. Here is some crazy shit I witnessed this year:
1. A guy in a lizard suit peeing on someone's lawn in front of small children.
2. A guy possibly dressed as the Babadook hanging out a fourth story window and jumping.
3. Shaggy from Scooby Doo falling asleep on someone's car.
4. Sexy unicorns spraying people with glitter.
5. A redneck throwing firecrackers into the heart of the crowd.
6. A guy who offered me a cigarette because he was "lung cancer" for Halloween and had hundreds of cigarettes taped to his body.
7. Two girls humping each other and then looking into the eyes of two dudes saying, "Take notes boys!"
8. People jumping on top of cars trying to drive on the street or people getting into the cars that drove on the street... (why anyone would think it would be a good idea to drive on U street during Halloween deserves whatever horror is in store for them).
9. The fights that broke out while people yelled "WORLD STAR!!" and then me hoping someone didn't get stabbed by the shards of broken glass from beer bottles lining the street.
10. The line of about 10 cop cars that blockaded the one-way street in order to end the madness. (Classic ending to a classic U street celebration).
Yeah, I am gonna need to visit my therapist this week after witnessing the absolute decline of humanity and the primal state people resort to while wearing costumes and drinking alcohol. This is why millennials can't have nice things.
