Whether or not you come to college to live with your best friend or someone you've never met, your roommate is likely to become a huge part of your college experience. Living in a dorm, the you can't get away from each other, even if you wanted to. There's many ups and downs to having a roommate and many problems that inevitably arise when you push two people together to live in a closet for a whole year. We may get a little bitter and we may gather resentment over disagreements about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper, but we get over it. I have attempted to recreate some conversations you've probably had with your college roommate.
1. The Air Conditioner Conversation
Susan: Can you turn the air up in the room?
Roommate: Why? It's hot outside.
S: I know, can you please turn it up?
R: If I turn it up any higher, it will be a living hell in here SUSAN
S: OMG, JUST MAKE MORE AIR COME OUT OF THE THING MEGHAN
R: OK, I'll turn it down.
2. The 'Whose turn is it this time?' talk
Meghan: OMG, totally forgot about room checks, can you take out the trash before 5?
Roommate: OMG, I forgot about it too :/
R: Are you not going by the room again?
Meghan: No, I'm at Karen's house. We have to go to the store to get her dog some medicine.
Roommate: Well, I was going to go by the store to get toilet paper, but I guess since you're already going to be there, you can do it! I got the trash!
Meghan: K.
3. The Dirty Bathroom Chore Discussion
Susan: soooooo, can we talk about cleaning the shower drain
Roommate: Absolutely, I cleaned it last time.
S: Yeah, but my hair doesn't shed...
R: How do you know that...
S: Look at my hair brush
R: Did you seriously clean out your hairbrush this morning to prove I shed more than you.
R: The evidence is still in the trashcan Susan, my gosh
S: touche
4. The Lunch Lecture
Meghan: Lunch?
Roommate: already ate
M: thanks
R: ??
M: You're going to make me eat by myself??
R: YOU ARE AN ADULT, MEGHAN
M: If being an adult means eating lunch alone, I don't want to be a part of this anymore.
5. The 'You're my Only Friend Here' Convo
Susan: Where r u
Roommate: Karen's, u?
S: Seriously, I've been waiting on you for an hour
R: For WHAT
S: PIZZA AND REDBOX
R: We never discussed this
S: I'm sorry, I had not assumed you'd suddenly gotten a life that didn't involve me :/
6. The Priority Problem
Meghan: Hey, we're all watching the 3:00 p.m. showing of the Avengers
Roommate: My class doesn't get out until 3:30 :/
M: Important class?
R: Physics 2
M: Sounds boring skip it
R: We have a test today.
M: Fine, we're leaving now. good luck!
R: WAIT! I'M COMING
7. The Hot Gossip
Susan: I have to talk to you
Roommate: I'm in class
S: You'll never believe what just happened on the quad
R: ??!!
S: Too much information, call me.
R: IM IN CLASS
S: I'll call you, just answer and say, "Oh my Gosh, I'll be right there" and run out.
R: ok.
8. The Dirty Room Dialogue
Meghan: Something in the room smells bad
Roommate: I haven't smelt anything.
M: I have a sensitive nose.
R: o, where's it coming from
Meghan: Not sure, i think it's your side of the room
R: hmm, wonder what it could be
M: It's your bed
R: Maybe the mattress has mold in it, call the RA?
M: it's your sheets Susan, you haven't washed them in 3 months
R: Sounds like a personal problem.
9. The Word about Weekends
Susan: Why is all your stuff packed
Roommate: I'm going home after my last class
S: When were you going to tell me
R: Do I have to run everything by you?
S: If it's going to affect me, yes, I could've gone home too this weekend. Now, I'll be here all by myself.
R: Idk, sorry, just do your homework or something
S: WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN WITH FRIENDS, MEGHAN
R: It's just one weekend, relax
S: I can't
S: I'm getting a dog
10. The Goodbyes
Meghan: Can you believe this is our last day living together? I'm going to cry
Susan: I know, me too :( It's so sad
M: So sad... :.(
S: So uhm, who's going to do the dishes before we leave? We haven't done them in like 3 weeks.
M: I'll work on it when I get back
S: Alright great!
(5 hours later)
S: Did you leave?
M: Yeah, my parents came early to help me move out! Sorry! I'll miss you so much xoxo
S: You didn't do the dishes...
M: Yeah I know, I didn't have time! Sorry
S: They're your dishes?
M: Yeah, that's fine, you can keep them! :)
Being a roommate is hard, but being friends is easy. Even if you didn't make the best roommates, you'll probably still be friends for life. After all, your roommates are the first friends you make in college. One day, you'll look back and laugh about all the roomie mistakes you made like leaving instructional notes around the room, or not taking out the trash when it's clearly your turn, or borrowing a sweater that wasn't yours because you "had nothing to wear."
