As a car owner, I feel it is necessary to publish this article describing my own personal rules of the aux cord. For those of you who have never been given aux cord privileges or have a car without a hookup, the aux cord is a magic electronic device that allows you to listen to your own music in your car. I mean, we can all only handle so much Taylor Swift or that "Nae Nae" song. So here are my own personal rules to my car's aux cord. It helps keep people in check and it's a great way to lighten the mood of long car rides.
1. Thou shalt not assume aux cord privilege
If i am jamming to something, and you assume you have rights over it, you're mistaken. I am the ultimate god of the aux cord. Who do you think you are?
2. Thou shalt not play any country unless told otherwise.
Unless I am in the panhandle of Idaho with my family having a jolly time, I cannot handle country. Sorry Luke Bryan, no country girls are gonna shake it for you in my whip.
3. If a dramatic Adele song comes on, thou shalt feel it.
Hello, it's me. I was wondering why you weren't feeling the mood of this song.
4. Thou shalt not be a scrub.
If we are jamming with the windows down and you see an attractive person, OK it with me before you do the holla-ing. I am the master holla-er. Left Eye didn't die to see this happen.
5. Thou shalt always have TDE on deck.
Kendrick, SZA, Schoolboy-Q, Ab-Soul, Isiaiah Rashad are always welcomed and must be played on the reg.
6. The Kanye to J Cole ratio is 1:2, thou shalt not argue it
For every one Ye song, you better have two fire Cole songs to put on rotation.
7. Thou shalt not play Young Thug.
Do I make myself clear?
8. If stumped, thou shalt play the Thundercat Pandora station on my phone.
Always the best choice.
9. Thou shalt always sing along.
This is a fun ride. Use your vocal chords. Be free.
10. Unless dying or something important, do not interrupt the song man.
***Any violation will result is you hopping out the Porsche — well 2000 Dodge Stratus. same thing. Immediate dismissal. Ultimate goal is to have the aux cord catch on fire from the level of fantastic music coming through.
