Breakups can seem like the end of the world when you’re going through them. We’ve all been there. The following rules are things I wish people would’ve told me when I was going through my breakup. Remember, you’re going to get through this. It’s just going to take some time.

1. Don’t Suggest to Stay Friends

You can’t let go of someone who is still constantly in your life. It’s as if you’re trying to make it seem like you don’t care about the breakup. You don’t care that the boy you’ve been in love with for years has just confessed to cheating on you. You don’t care because you’re so laid-back. So laid-back that you actually feel dead inside. Of course you care. Being friends with him isn’t going to make him get back together with you. In fact, being his friend will just land you a front row seat to his journey of moving on from you.

2. Figure Out Your Triggers

You’re going to have breakdowns while on this journey. It’s normal. There are going to be multiple things that remind you of your ex. Things like your special song will now carry a different tune. Your Sunday morning breakfasts will make every Sunday feel lonely. Your usual hangout spot will now hold too many memories you made with him. All of these things can bring you to tears and make you miss how things were. I call these your "triggers."

Once you figure out what your triggers are, you can come up with ways to avoid them. When you hear that song, don’t let it play even though you’re dying to hear the lyrics dance around your heart and pull just a bit. Spend Sunday mornings with friends so you don’t feel alone. Get a different hangout spot, because let’s face it, that one was getting lame anyways. Once all these triggers are behind you, your feelings towards that person will start to change drastically. And if your ex is a trigger himself, then avoid him at all costs. Just trust me on this one.

3. Get Rid of His Things

You really don’t need that oversized sweatshirt to sleep in. I don’t care if it’s the most comfortable thing you own and I don’t care if it still smells like him. Toss it. Valentine’s Day presents full of reasons why he loved you? Toss it. Pictures of you two sharing kisses, hugs, and laughs? Toss them. Honestly, you don’t need them. They’re only reminders of what used to be, and no matter how hard you try, what used to be can never be again.

4. Get Rid of Phone Evidence

Delete those old messages telling you that you were the best thing that ever happened to him. And the ones where he also claims you were the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. Delete the photos, even the funny ones, like the one where you tried to take a cute lake picture and ended up falling in. Delete the videos you secretly made of him singing in the bathroom and when he’s dancing down the driveway. Fight the urge to keep these. Imagine yourself years down the road. You won’t be with this person, so there is no point in having all the evidence on your phone. But if you really can’t part with these things, save them on a flash drive and put it in the back of your closet. Then delete them from your phone. You won’t have to see the evidence every day, but you still have it. Trust me, you’ll forget about the flash drive until one day you stumble upon it while cleaning out your closet. Maybe then you’ll have the courage to throw it out.

5. Declutter Social Media

Unfollow, unfriend, whatever you need to do to make sure they don’t show their face on your news feed. You don’t need to see how happy he is. You don’t need to see his workout progress. And you really don’t need to see his new girlfriend.

Next, delete your relationship from the eyes of the world. Some may see this as childish, but if this will help you move on, then screw everyone else. You don’t need two years of a relationship on your Instagram. Let them know you’re single. Let them know you’re not ashamed of it. You got this.

6. Get a New Look

There’s something so liberating about giving yourself a makeover. Dye your hair a ridiculous color and don’t care about the sly comments people make about “break-up hair.” Treat yourself to a Mani-Pedi. Buy new clothes. Splurge on yourself. Do whatever you need to do to make you see yourself as the beautiful person you are.

7. Don’t Get Drunk Alone

Call up some friends to join you in this fest. No one wants to be drunk, alone, and sad. And if you’re going to be sad, at least be sad with the people who love you just as much as you love them. Everyone has gone through heartbreak, so they’re not going to judge your drunken meltdowns. Nor will they judge you for having dirty hair and makeup running down your face.

Your friends will also stop you from making drunk decisions. They won’t let you type a long drunk paragraph to your ex begging for him back. They also won’t let you go home with the guy you’ve been talking up at the party because you’re too drunk to realize you’re out of his league. Friends won’t let you try and hurt yourself or even talk badly about yourself while drunk. They’re going to make you feel like a queen that so many adore. And after a few drunk nights with them, you’re going to believe it yourself.

8. Don’t Go back

I can’t tell you how many times I broke this rule. Couples who constantly break-up and make-up rarely have a happily ever after. And don’t believe him if he says he’s changed. Change doesn’t happen within a few weeks. Change can sometimes take months, even years. He hasn’t changed and honestly neither have you.

9. Allow Yourself a Grieving Period

By crying when you need to, you avoid random public breakdowns when everything becomes too much, because crying in the middle of your professor’s lecture about fracking is slightly embarrassing and inappropriate. When you’re in the sanction of your room, don’t hesitate to let it all out. Cry into your pillow while you watch sappy rom-coms and stuff your face with ice cream. And during this grieving period, don’t try to move on. It will just be in vain. Trust me on this one, it isn’t worth it.

10. Take it Slow in Your Next Relationship

Remember you just ended a relationship, a relationship that completely destroyed your self-confidence. So first things first, make sure your grieving period is over, and if it is, make sure this guy is worth your time. Taking your time with this one will help you realize if you’re actually ready to start something new with this person.

Don’t forget how beautiful you are and try to remember that every day. You got this. I believe in you.