Drinking is a part of the college experience, and in my time I have heard some pretty ridiculous myths regarding alcohol and how it affects your body. More importantly, it's come to my attention that there are many who continue to perpetuate these myths, thinking they are indeed scientific.
I am here to help dispel these myths and leave you with cold hard science to make the most of your crazy nights. Here are 10 myths that are most certainly untrue.
1. MYTH: Beer before liquor, never been sicker
There is no real basis behind this myth. It assumes that going from one type of alcohol to the other is dangerous. Well, alcohol is alcohol, whether it comes in the form of a beer or a shot of liquor. Depending on how many beers you may have consumed and how quickly you take the shot of liquor after, it may not sit right in your stomach and cause you to feel sick. But that comes with pacing, so enjoy and explore all the different kinds of alcohol; just do it responsibly.
2. MYTH: It's a light beer, I won't get drunk
Unless you are sticking with one brand of light beer, most companies don't have much of a set standard when it comes to light beer. And with that being said, because light beer has fewer calories and has slightly less alcohol content, it can cause some to over drink in compensation making them even drunker. Not to mention, the added calories from drinking that much more. So be careful and pace yourself.
3. MYTH: Energy drinks make you more drunk
I can see why this myth has been around for some time. If the purpose of an energy drink is to make you more alert, then it would make sense that if you mix it with alcohol, you should feel its effects more. That's not the case. It may alter the perception you have of your surroundings, but you are no more, or no less drunk than you actually are.
4. MYTH: Painkillers will help cure the hangover
DO NOT take painkillers while drinking. This can cause serious damage to your stomach lining and liver. With that being said, this is a myth that does not make too much sense to me. The idea is that by taking the painkiller, you will help alleviate the headache in the morning. However, by the time the headache sets in, the painkillers have probably worn off. The best trick to help relieve your headache in the morning is to drink lots of water before and after bed. This is because alcohol dehydrates you and part of the hangover pains come from dehydration.
5. MYTH: Throwing up will sober you up
This would only work if the absorption rate of alcohol was slow. But, that not being the case, throwing up is not generally an advised solution to getting sober. Throwing up may make you feel less queasy, but you will still be drunk. And if you do throw up, please clean up after yourself and be sure you check your shoes to ensure you aren't dragging vomit wherever you go.
6. MYTH: Eating a large meal helps absorb the alcohol
This is another common myth that gets thrown around all the time. Like I mentioned earlier, alcohol is absorbed by the body rather quickly, so the food really has no time to absorb it. But that being said, there are some ways food can help. Sometimes, with heavier drinks, food can slow down the absorption of alcohol into the bloodstream. Foods such as pasta and bread help act like a sponge, soak up the alcohol, and slowly distribute the alcohol throughout your intestines and into your colon. Eating won't slow down the onslaught of alcohol, but you can pace yourself, which i strongly recommend!
7. I can keep up with him
Sorry ladies, but there is usually no way to keep up with a man when it comes to throwing alcohol back. One of the scientific reasons behind this is that men have more water in their bodies, which means the alcohol gets diluted. Also, because of the weight difference, men generally have a larger body mass which helps the alcohol get absorbed through the body.
8. MYTH: Breaking the seal will keep you in the bathroom
When in a night of bar hopping and drinking, the saying goes, using the bathroom breaks the "seal" and you will be waiting in line for longer than you will be enjoying your night. But, peeing more, or not peeing, doesn't make you have to go any more or less. There is no magical seal. Though alcohol does contain properties that will make you have to go more frequently, it is not enough that you have to noticeably pee more. You do have to pee more because you are consuming more liquid.
9. MYTH: Coffee will sober you up
Cold shower, coffee - tricks to getting sober quicker are not effective. Now, because alcohol does make you drowsy, a cold shower and coffee can suppress the side effects of alcohol but you will not be any more or less sober than before you drank the cup of joe. Because your body metabolizes the alcohol, and because that is the way your body rids alcohol, there is no way to speed up that process. You just have to wait it out.
10. MYTH: Alcohol kills brain cells
Last but not least, alcohol does not kill brain cells. It does a whole slough of other vicious things to your body, but attacking the brain is not one of them. It just simply slows down the pathways the neurons take to get the information to your brain. You may not have actually lost any brain cells, but you sure will act like you have!
Again, I won't sit here and lecture anyone on the legal drinking age and how alcohol affects the body in different ways. I am hoping your parents have done that for you. And if you haven't learned it from you parents, then perhaps by trial and error. Either way, I feel obligated to tell you to drink responsibly, and don't look like an idiot when you do. No one likes a reckless, careless drunk - keep it classy and remember, be good humans.
