Survival Guide for the Inevitable Zombie Apocalypse!
Start writing a post

Your Go-To Guide To Surviving The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

Hide your kids! Hide your wives! And hide your brains, cuz they'z eatin' everybody out here!

Your Go-To Guide To Surviving The Impending Zombie Apocalypse

If the current state of the world and "American Horror Story" has taught us anything this October, it is that DOOMSDAY is upon us, and I am NOT talking about the Superman villain (though that would be pretty cool)! The Apocalypse is a-comin' and you know what that means? ZOMBIES.

So, when the undead come knocking at your door looking for sustenance on your fleshy gooey knowledge meat, you need to be prepared.


 Know the enemy!

Time for all of those hours studying in college for good! To even attempt surviving the impending doom that is approaching, you must understand everything ZOMBIE. Books, movies, TV, video games, THE INTERNET! LEARN PEOPLE!!!

 Put your guard up!   

Surviving the end of the world means putting up a strong defense, so you must have a sturdy base camp. Lock and barricade all potential entrances, BUT not before raiding the local markets for food, medical supplies, tools and other resources for an effective bunker (bring coupons)!

  Prepare for mobility!

Though base camps are a great idea, there is always a solid chance that you will need to move around, especially when supplies are low. For this, you will most likely be traveling on foot, therefore, you need to have proper attire — protective, long-sleeve shirts and long pants that do not inhibit movement, and the best running shoes you can find.

BONUS: If you can get a car, BEEF IT UP! Be careful with bicycles and motorbikes. And lastly… tanks and helicopters always win, just saying. (BUT FUEL THOUGH)!

 Tool Up!

To fight and thusly kill the undead "Zambies," you'll need to shop smart. Firearms are useful, but bullets run out. However, you will NEVER run out of blade or other bashers! (Well, unless they break).

Helpful list: Bats, swords, hammers, crowbars, pencils, screwdrivers… pretty much anything you have seen used in the movies.

See number 7

 Be aware of those around you!

An apocalypse doesn't just mean encountering the danger of the undead, it also means encountering other survivors. They could be strong allies or vicious enemies. NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!

If in a group, take care. If you suspect a bite victim or double-crosser, DISPATCH IMMEDIATELY!

 Lay low!

While being attracted by the smell of flesh, zombies are also attracted by bright lights and loud sounds. Plan accordingly, people.

 Go for the head!

While fire and others will slow them down, the only way to kill a zombie is to destroy the brain or separate the brain from the rest of the body. A good pencil through the ear-hole, a cricket bat to the face, a solid GTA/C.O.D. headshot… in general, poking around with the ole' noggin tends to do the trick.

Last, but not least: DO. NOT. GET. BITTEN!

IF YOU ARE BITTEN OR SCRATCHED, YOU WILL TURN INTO A ZOMBIE! There is no cure (yet). Keep your distance, avoid when you can, never let your guard down, and if you must fight — WIN!

I hope these tips prove useful to you until the army turns up. If done right, this whole ordeal could be a smashing good time!

May the apocalyptic odds be ever in your favor...


Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments