1. When where you went to high school dictates your entire being.
Oh, you went there.
With more than 40 private high schools, it’s no wonder the most common question to ask someone from St. Louis is “Where do you go to high school?” or “Where did you go to high school?” The catch is…choose carefully where you receive your education, because that school’s stigma will follow you for the rest of your life.
2. When your daily outfit requires…layers.
Ah yes, the weather’s daily act of lies and deceit will leave you packing on layers in order to compensate for all atmospheric possibilities. From days where it starts at a pleasant 70 degrees and next thing you know, it’s a literal blizzard; to days with blue skies and sunshine when suddenly it's pouring rain and the news channels are issuing tornado warnings. It’s the Midwest, what more can I say.
3. You wear red and bleed blue.
You don’t even need to ask us what baseball team we root for… we sport our Cardinal gear in all corners of the earth. We know where our loyalty lies and will fight whoever challenged our fan base.
4. Ted Drewes. Yes.
When we say concrete, of course we mean a delicate mix of frozen custard perfectly balanced with a variety of toppings, blended to perfection and so sure of its own significance that it won’t even fall out of the cup when tipped over. Oh yes, we mean a free-for-all with lines out the wazoo. Once the Cardinal game is over, it’s a race down Hampton Avenue to this St. Louis dive.
5. It’s called St. Louis Bread Co.
That’s right, it’s not Panera. Everything good comes from St. Louis…and Bread Co. is one of those things. It's a fact of life.
6. No we don’t mean provolone, we mean provel.
Ah yes. That feeling of love and friendship as you sink your teeth into the warm, gooey provel cheese followed by the crunch of the thin crust of a fresh Imo’s pizza. Here in St. Louis, we know that the best pizza is Imo’s pizza, and the best cheese sticks to the roof of your mouth. That’s right, they will deliver from St. Louis to any part of the U.S.
7. Did someone say toasted ravs?
As soon as you hear these words, you better come running because these typical St. Louis appetizers will be gone within seconds. For us St. Louisans, the best kind of pasta, is toasted.
8. Broke? No problem!
Everything is free. That’s right… the famous St. Louis Zoo, the Muny, museums, the Science Center and Forest Park (which is bigger than Central Park, nbd). So if you are looking for an inexpensive date in the city, or even just want to hang out with friends without having the guilt of over-spending, you should probably move to St. Louis.
Or actually just up and move here because… it’s St. Louis. It’s the greatest city in the world, and it's home.
