Months of promises made and then broken, dozens of I'm sorry's and an overflowing of my forgiveness; this consumed my life. It was my every day, my norm, but I'm finally done.
I believed the words that ran off your lips. I made excuses for you. I made myself believe that you cared. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I realized that you really didn't.
What broke my heart most was the promises you were never able to fulfill. The promises of you never leaving me, the promises of falling asleep and waking up with you, the promises of a life where you were mine in every way. I learned the hard way that these so-called "promises" were just a way for you to sneak into my heart and use me for your own benefit. They were simply words that got you what you wanted as you pulled at my heart-strings and made me fall for you, all the while you knew that you'd never truly feel the same way.
You're not sorry and I refuse to accept that you are, because if I do, it would be very difficult for me to ever accept a genuine apology again.
I never regret the people I've loved or cared for, so I'll say this instead... thank you. Thank you for everything; the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thank you for the good- for being my sunshine on my dark days, for saying what I needed and wanted to hear, thank you for making me laugh, and for holding me when I was upset- it was what Thank you for the bad- for the texts I never received, for the doubts that you instilled in my mind, for the days I went without hearing from you. Thank you for the ugly- for the tears you provoked, the doubt, anger, and sadness you caused- they all had a greater purpose that I failed to see; someone who truly loved me would never make me feel this way.
You stole my heart the day I met you. Sometimes I worry that if you ever wanted it again, that I'd easily give it back. Then, I remember how much you broke me and tore me down and I ask myself, why would I ever want to go back to that?
It's hard to move on, it's hard to forget you. What's even harder is to pretend like you never existed. I still think of you, I still care, and I dream of a day where maybe I won't care anymore. Whether someone else comes along or time passes on, I hope that some day you'll just be a lesson learned.
