When I was growing up, my mother always said that I didn’t have friends, I had associates. Something I disagreed with her on wholeheartedly. She said friends were the people willing to die for you and I thought she was being extreme. However, as I have gotten older and have met a plethora of people, I have changed my mind on the words she imparted to me. Not to toot my own horn, but I seem to be able to befriend anyone, no matter their personality or interest. Hopefully, no one tries to disprove this; you’re a jerk by the way if you do.

As I get older and wiser, though, I’ve started removing people who I once called “friend” from my vocabulary and Facebook, too. The world can be a tiresome place at times and people especially tire me out. Over the years, I realized that I don’t want anyone constantly in my face or knowing every detail of my life within a few weeks of meeting each other. This is, of course, an exaggeration, but you get my point. People who want to constantly be in my presence is like a new puppy after the initial honeymoon phase wears off and they start becoming annoying. I like having my space and having something to share with my friends that will actually take a thirty plus minute conversation to tell them about.

Another thing I’ve started to do is remove people out of my life who add no value to it. If the only time we talk to one another is when you’re bored or I’m bored. That’s not a relationship, that’s a therapist I don’t have to pay for. It doesn’t mean we are friends. Is any of this making sense to anyone else? It used to be a thing to say I have more than 1,500 friends on two different Facebook accounts. After a while, I got tired of the once a year “happy birthday” messages or random “I don’t like what you posted and now we’re in an argument” people. Here are some things I ask myself now as it relates to the people I consider to be my friend.

• Is this person someone who adds value to my life?
• Am I adding value to this person’s life?
• Do they respect me and my need for personal space?
• Are they there when I need them and vice versa?

Now, I understand that there are plenty of other questions I could ask, but for the sake of time and short attention spans, let’s keep it at these. It is my humble opinion that too many people and myself once upon a time do not know how to be alone. It’s pathetic, it’s sad, but it’s okay. I know my opinions are not always popular or tried and tested. However, the need to be constantly surrounded by others is so overrated. Maybe, this is just me, but I’m glad of the small list of friends I now have and may they be in my life always. As for everyone else, good luck with that!