Nobody is born perfect. Every person has some kind of insecurity that they can not change. One thing many people fail to recognize or forget is that we are all born with something we can handle. Each individual was born with these struggles for a reason and hopefully they will learn from it. Day by day a new struggle arrives in a person's life and they have to make certain choices that will help them grow. People often will complain about these things to others without realizing that each of us has struggles of our own. It’s okay to feel upset and alone, but just remember that you’re not the only one, and your life is not the worst it could possibly be.
I find myself complaining about my struggles everyday. When I compare myself to my brother, who doesn’t have gross feet, didn’t have to wear headgear, doesn’t have scoliosis, is incredibly smart, and to me just seems perfect, I forget to realize that he does have problems of his own, like acne, stresses about reading, and is not as cute as I am. Many people will compare themselves to others to convince themselves that their struggles are worse than others, but nobody likes it when somebody asks for pity or complains all the time. That’s why it’s important to learn to make it fun.
Like I mentioned earlier, I have scoliosis. When I was in fifth grade my mother noticed something odd while rubbing my back. She took me to a doctor and the told me that my spine was not completely straight. They told me to come back in six months and if it is worse they would see what the next steps would be. I was so terrified that I would need to have surgery or that I wouldn’t be able to live my life like normal. Especially since I had other problems I stressed about as well.
When I went back they told me the curvature of my spine had increased and was in the shape of an ‘S’. Although I was scared, all I had to do now was go get fitted for a back brace. In the beginning, it was extremely uncomfortable, and I was a bit let down because I was told I can no longer jump on trampolines and it was becoming more difficult to dance in dance class since my body was becoming accustomed to being so still and perfect.
The brace was small enough to be hidden underneath my shirt, but I sat up straight 24/7 and probably looked like a box, but turns out it wasn’t that noticeable
I spent a lot of time being upset about having all of these ‘problems’, but people would often tell me, “God wouldn’t have given you these problems if he didn’t think you could handle them”, which I believed to be true. People would ask about what it’s like to sleep with a hard shell on my body and tell me how they could never do it, but I honestly didn’t think it was that bad. I mean, this was all only temporary. At least, the brace was, not the condition of my spine.
After awhile I started to become okay with it. Partly because I didn’t know what it would be like to not wear it anymore. But now, it was time to have some fun.
Every time I had the chance I would ask people… mainly boys, if they would punch my stomach, which I never really understood why people were so willing to punch some girls stomach as hard as they could. Of course it hurt because they were punching a plastic brace (think of it as wearing football pads around your entire torso), but I just got the satisfaction of watching them be highly confused as to why my stomach was rock hard. They thought it was a textbook, but I always told them it was my “rock hard abs.”
The only complication was in the locker rooms when people could actually see it. I just told them I was bit by a piranha. Surprisingly people believed me. Don’t worry, though, this was all harmless. Eventually, I would apologize or just creepily smile and they would walk away. They don’t have to know my ‘problem’ if I don’t want to tell them. They usually forget about it within hours anyway.
I haven’t worn a brace for the last five years and it’s weird to think that I ever even wore it.
As I grew older I realized there were so many problems in the world that my little mind hadn’t understood yet and that these problems were nothing. I have a pretty good life and I don’t even know why I pitied myself as much as I did. However, don’t think that means that someone can’t have a breakdown about something small that to them seems so big. You never know what people are actually going through. Sometimes, it’s just a bad day.
Anyway, now that I have lived so long with things I don’t like about myself, I often forget about those problems because now I have new ones to worry about. Thinking about that makes me feel that the problems I have now, are only temporary. I also continue to remind myself that these roadblocks were put into my life for a reason and there is always someone else who has worse roadblocks that I do.
And, the whole time I was never alone, and I had fun, which is what is the most important.
