"You're Not Acting Like Yourself" | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Student Life

"You're Not Acting Like Yourself"

I can barely figure myself out so stop telling me who I am

1156
"You're Not Acting Like Yourself"
Ivan Golovchak

We have a very multi-faceted personality as individuals. This is a great thing as we all know because of individuality, different ideas, enlightening other people, etc,. However, no one acknowledges the hard part of being a said individual and no one acknowledges the hypocrisy that people carry out toward those people.

What I'm saying here is that when people tote around the "be yourself" card and essentially give it out to everyone that they see yet when that person is showing a different portion of what makes up their said "self" all the sudden people look the other way or simply state, "you're not acting like yourself". This statement I have a real issue with, I can not express how livid I am when this comes up. I'll explain...

People do not know who they are yet. We do not know all of our facets, all of our likes, dislikes, because we are always changing and meeting new people that open our eyes to new things. We are always exploring who we are in that moment. Sometimes though, we don't know why we act certain ways around others or in a different environment or process something differently than before.

Sometimes we project an image of ourselves--regardless if it's intentional or not--to different groups of people and so those groups of people only experience you in that certain way. When these people experience you in one way they subconsciously assume that this is you. This is all you are. Anything deviating from this type of mood, humor, attitude etc., is "out of character" for you and "weird".

This is what frustrates me because no one, no single individual, is one sided. We all have expansive sides to us that come out depending on our environment and what is going on in our lives. In fact, I argue that we don't have a true self. Those million and one ways we act help make up the individual that we are and it's a matter of what side of ourselves that we are most comfortable with.

"Who we are" is all about when we feel the most safe and comfortable with ourselves, who is around us when we feel this way? Where are we when we feel this way? This is why we have that cliche "I'm only me when I'm with you" it's because we feel most comfortable being who we are at that time around that person or in that environment.

The second issue that goes along with this is communication. When people see that you are sad or just not in the mood you will get the inevitable, "What's wrong? You're not yourself" here's the issue with this...

...no one actively listens to your answer. I already know EXACTLY what the response is every single time I tell someone what's wrong: "Oh." "That sucks." "I'm sorry." "It'll get better." or my most hated one, "I don't know what to tell you". My response to them is, "Then why did you ask?"

The cherry on top is that no one can seem to accept that how you are acting in that moment is a part of who you are. They think you're in a mood, you'll get out of it, you'll get "back to normal" soon. How they perceive you to be normal may not be how you feel most comfortable with yourself though.

People need to begin to acknowledge that how we handle emotions and anything in general is apart of who we are. You cannot designate a person to one facet, that is completely unfair and not right. When we speak to each other, we need to actively listen to them. Don't think about what you'll say in response, don't think about your schedule, actually listen to what it is they are trying to tell you. Most of the time people aren't looking for solutions from you, they just want reassurance that you are there and that you care.

So, to the people out there wondering "who they really are" just breathe. That is a life long journey. You won't figure it out anytime soon, but what you can figure out is who you are when you feel the most comfortable with yourself. To everybody in between, remember that we don't have a set facet. We are made up of a lot of things and as friends, family, and couples, we need to be ready to accept all of those sides of that person. Isn't that what real love and acceptance is anyhow?

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
April Ludgate

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

Keep Reading...Show less
college
Pinterest

For many undergraduates across the nation, the home stretch has begun. Only one more semester remains in our undergraduate career. Oh, the places we will go! For the majority of college seniors, this is simultaneously the best and worst year out of the past four and here’s why.

1. The classes you are taking are actually difficult.

A schedule full of easy pottery throwing and film courses is merely a myth on the average campus. With all of those prerequisites for the upper-level courses and the never-ending battle you fight each year during registration for limited class seats, senior year brings with it the ability to register for the final courses you need to fulfill your major. Yet, these are not the easy entry level courses. These are the comprehensive, end of major, capstone courses designed to apply the knowledge from all your previous courses, usually in the form of an extensive research paper or engaged learning project. The upside is you actually probably really enjoy these classes but alas there is no room for slackers here.

Keep Reading...Show less
man in black crew neck t-shirt
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

1. You're tired of school food and have resorted to surviving off junk food and cereal.

2. Your financial aid/money is running out...and chances are it all went to textbooks and takeout.

Keep Reading...Show less
man and woman
www.lifefactuality.com

We’ve all dated someone who just wasn’t quite right...but, why?

Here are nine reasons you're probably still too in denial to admit.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Laugh, Cry, and Relate: Chandler Bing's Best Quotes

Because Chandler Bing should be everyone's spirit animal.

143
Chandler Bing
Zimbio

Ah, Ms. Chanandler Bong, or Chandler Bing as he is better known as. For 10 years, Chandler brought us many laughs, many tears, and, well, Matthew Perry's fame. He is, personally, my favorite character on "Friends" because he made me laugh more than any other character on the show and I felt like I could relate to him more than the other characters on the show. Anyway, here are 10 Chandler Bing quotes that anyone can relate to... or graduates can at least...

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments