Let's admit it: making friends can be hard. I think that part of the reason it can be so difficult is because people make it difficult. At some point in my life I realized that I shouldn't need to work to make friends. It should be casual and natural. I used to feel that I needed to seek out people I was attracted to and work hard to impress them. I'd do my makeup and my hair similarly to that of my future friends, then make myself into a person I never truly was. Instead, what this does is turn people off because they can recognize someone who is hungry for a basic connection, and that's not a place where a friendship can grow. Not being yourself never leads to a happy relationship, just a fake and superficial one.
The desire to seek out friends is a basic human urge, and everyone experiences it. You're not the only one thinking that you have to put on a show to attract people. The easiest thing to do is focus on being yourself and putting your true image out there. Anyone who is bold in their own personality will be very inviting to others, especially those who are similar to you. Before long, your tribe will come to you and you'll fit right in.
When seeking connections, it's important to be open and honest. People can tell when you're being yourself, and presenting an artificial life doesn't pay off. Open up to people and they will know that they can trust you. In turn, they will open up to you. They will recognize aspects of you that they also see in themselves, and a positive approach sends all the right signals. People love to talk about themselves and they love being listened to. It's important to give them your attention so that they know they are worth it. By asking questions you can find out so much about a person, and it shows you are truly interested.
Friends are great and it’s important to have people you can talk to and rely on, but don’t feel pressured to become friends with absolutely everyone around you. Let it come naturally. Take the time for yourself that you need and understand that it’s a skill to know how to be friends with yourself. Use your judgement when choosing who to allow into your life, and know you are worthy of strong and healthy friendships and you shouldn’t allow negative people in just for the sake of having more friends.
Just be yourself! People can spot their kind from a mile away. You'll find each other. If it comes naturally, it can become one of the best friendships you'll ever make.
