Your Team Sucks, And Other Harsh Realities Of Pokémon Go
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Your Team Sucks, And Other Harsh Realities Of Pokémon Go

I want to be the very best, but the servers are the worst.

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Your Team Sucks, And Other Harsh Realities Of Pokémon Go
Sugar Zaza

Millions of players are living out their dreams of being Pokémon trainers. Millions more scoff and wonder how so many people could be running around in search of cartoon monsters, because it’s “childish” (and in some cases, “dangerous”). Either way, “Pokémon Go” has all but taken over the world, even if the game may not be available in every part of the world yet. This game is so addicting and loads of fun, yet there is some disappointment underneath the merriment. You downloaded the game to become the very best, but it’s easier said than done – at least for you.

Your team sucks.

Everyone loses no matter what team they’ve picked. If you’re Team Valor, you’re depicted as an arrogant, aggressive douche. If you’re Team Mystic, Valors are picking on you for being a dork. And if you’re Team Instinct…who are you again? Kidding of course, but it’s an uphill battle for you to be seen and heard among the two much larger teams. As much as we all try to get along, there are bad Exeggcutes in every group who have to make the rest of us look bad not only to each other, but to non-“Pokémon Go” players. Can’t we live in Team Harmony?

Your friends are all at a higher level than you.

You’re excited to have reached Level 12, only to find that your friends are all on Level 15. Even when you finally make it to Level 15, they’ve already leveled up to 20. They’ve caught some powerful, rare Pokémon, and have even taken over a few gyms, while you’re waiting for enough candies to evolve one of your Eevees – meanwhile your friends have obtained all three available Eeveelutions. No matter what, your friends are always three levels ahead of you. Even if you’re the highest ranked player in your group, there are still plenty of others who can beat you.

The servers are usually down when you want to play.

You finally get to go out to do some serious Poke-hunting, and you found a great spot filled with PokeStops and Pokémon not seen where you live, only to find that the servers aren’t working (at least not for you, it seems). Eventually they start working, right as you get the 10 percent battery remaining notification. The servers not working are a more recent issue that should be resolved soon, but that doesn’t help when you’re watching your friends catch more Pokémon to get that much further ahead. There’s always tomorrow... actually no, you have work tomorrow – stupid real life responsibilities.

For every Pokémon you caught, three got away.

And they got away for different reasons. Your phone died before you could even throw your first Pokeball (seriously, invest in a portable charger). The game froze before you could complete the catch. You ran out of Pokeballs. Maybe your mom (or neighbor, if you’re one of those players) was ushering or yelling at you to move along. You been waiting for that Pokémon to even show up on your radar and it’s gone. While missing a Pokémon always sucks, the feeling is much worse when it could have been a new addition to your Pokedex. Better luck next time.

You run out of Pokeballs too easily.

And the only PokeStops near you are all cemeteries. And the so-called “hack” where players can pick up missed Pokeballs doesn’t even work! That only puts you even further behind. Or you may waste a lot of time and gas driving around to find more PokeStops, but even then you’re missing out on tons of Pokémon along the way. It’s almost like this game is rigged so that at some point you feel compelled to spend money on it to keep up because you still have a life and can’t leave work to go to the Pokestop across the street.

Your parents don’t get it.

For once we have a video game that prompts us to go outside, get some exercise and possibly interact with other people, but that’s not enough for our parents – it’ll always be a “stupid game” to them (unless your parents are gamers as well, but they’re usually in the minority). They don’t see why it’s fun to walk around and catch Pokémon – we always have to be doing something productive. Haters gonna hate, I guess – even if they’re your family and past the generation of “Pokémon.” Maybe the game will grow on them, or they’ll at least indulge you sometime.

Maybe you’ve already faced some of these harsh realities by the time you caught that highly sought-after Gyarados. If you’re just downloading the game today, you’ll see soon enough. Regardless of where you are in the game, whether you’re a gym leader or a few levels short of picking a team, just enjoy it. Play the game at your own pace and don’t worry about what your friends or other players are doing. Even if you’re close to caving and buying a hundred coins to replenish your Pokeball supply, be strong – because spending money on a free game is the dumbest thing ever.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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