One of my firsts tattoos was a candle—like the ones you would put on top of a birthday cake. A painfully simple design on the outside of my right thigh. It seems quirky and out of place but it means something to me. One of my favorite books, the book that made me realize that I want to write for the rest of my life, was the play The Glass Menagerie. The final line from the closing monologue is “for the world is only lit by lightening, so blow out your candles, and so goodbye.” That’s it. That is why I have a tattoo of a birthday candle on my leg. Most people don't ask and that doesn’t bother me. I didn’t get it for anyone else. But that never stopped one of my closest friends from telling me just how stupid it was.

People don’t get tattoos for other people—I mean, it is on their body. People get stupid tattoos all the time. I can admit I have a stupid tattoo. But the thing is… that isn't for you to decide. When my friend told me how silly my tattoo was I already had it. It wasn't going anywhere. This is my skin and I’m going to do whatever the hell I want with it. I’m going to cover it in literary tattoos. And when my sister tells me to stop getting book-related tattoos I’ll get another. It kind of goes hand in hand with not telling someone else what they should wear. A friendly suggestion before the party? Sure. A snarky comment about the clothing choice once they’re actually at the party? Rude. Same goes for tattoos.

You could point out the flaws in any tattoo. No one’s tattoo is cool if you think about it that much. Don’t get me started on white guys with lion tattoos, I mean come on. Or people who have their grandmother’s name on them… like do you really think your strict Roman Catholic grandma who never wore lipstick wants you inked up? I’m going to answer for her—no, she does not. Just call her more. Tribal tattoos? Infinity symbols? Anchors? Mandala lotus flowers? Weird quotes you found on the internet? Freakin’ roses? They are all terrible. Own it! I have a damn Lana Del Rey quote on me. But I like the quote more than I like bible verses so I wasn’t going to lie and get Psalm whatever, whatever because it seems “deeper”.

Okay, so now that I’ve bashed most tattoos including my own, you know what makes those tattoos so cool? You picked it. You decided to get it. You, on your own terms, went and changed your body. That is so cool. And no one can take that away from you. So go get a heart shaped feather or whatever is trending right now but do it with pride. Own your tattoos and every inch of your body. But more than anything stop criticizing other people’s tattoos. Chances are they think your super chic block tattoo is lame, too. Stop criticizing things on people that are permanent. Stop assuming someone cares what you think of their tattoo. Just stop.

Tattoos are a statement. They are an accessory. Stop treating it like it is more than that. That girl probably got a half sleeve because wants a half sleeve—not because some absurd meaning you want it to have so the tattoo is “meaningful”. She wanted a tattoo. And that is really the only reason to get a tattoo.