I went to a predominantly black middle school in Bed-Sty, Brooklyn. It was called 258 or interchangeably, 8-ball. There is where I learned how to defend myself. Some days it was rewarding and other days were exhausting. I felt it was unfair to always be on your guard at school. Middle school was supposed to be a place of exploration and development. Not a place of battles and casualties. Don't get me wrong, there were great days in 258, however, I was ready for something new. I wanted opportunity.

It was my 8th grade year and during that year, you were given the chance to apply to any high school in the 5 boroughs no matter what borough you lived in. How cool that was! If you had a fascination for flight/planes, you were able to apply to Aviation High School, in Queens, New York. If you wanted to become an actor for theater, you were able to apply to LaGuardia School of the Arts in Manhattan, New York. That's just to name a few. In other states you were "zoned" to a school in your neighborhood and you were forced to attend high school with the same students you were with in middle school. Ughh! I couldn't handle 4 more years of war. I knew in my spirit that I had much to offer and I was going to find a way to expose it, but how?

I was accepted to Graphic Communication Arts. Yes, phase one complete. A High School in Manhattan. In fact, I hit the jack pot. I landed a school right in the heart of Manhattan. West 49th and 9th. Woo-hoo, I was on my way to a deluxe apartment in the sky!

1st day of high school had approached. I remember it being a cool, breezy, day in September of 04'. I approached my high school, anxious to see what life had in store for me. As I walk down the street I notice that the white students were headed in a different direction from which I walked. I was a little confused but I kept walking. I approached the front door of my high school and to my surprise, it was at a school filled with traditionally under-represented communities. In other words, what the worlds described as minorities. Not that I hated my people, I just felt that my strategic planning went awry and I, unfortunately, was back at square one.

Actually, I was at negative one. The plan I had set in motion was seeming harder to accomplish. I was greeted with medal detectors, school safety officers, bars on the windows and 7 flights of blue and grey walls. It seemed like a juvenile detention center or even jail. If it quacks like a duck, then its a duck. I knew for sure that this was phase two of my war with public education. I wanted to turn around and run away but I couldn't. It wasn't because I didn't have the courage, it was because there was so much pushing and shoving and yelling already, ones only option was to keep moving forward.

It's sad to say, but during this time in my life, I was under the impression that if I applied to all schools in Manhattan, I would definitely have a better opportunity to succeed in life, because I would be surrounded by all white students. Could you believe it, at 13 years old, my brain equated that if it's White it's Right. In other words, if I went to a school that was in Manhattan, then evidently, I would be going to a predominantly white high school, which in turn would give me a better education and a better chance at success. I was obviously wrong. I wanted to turn around and run away but I couldn't. It wasn't because I didn't have the courage, it was because there was so much pushing and shoving and yelling already, ones only option was to keep moving forward.

And that's exactly what I did. I moved forward. At the moment, I made a crucial decision to not let my surroundings become my reality. I ignored what was pushed on me and I fought the red tape. Attending Graphic Communication Arts and sticking with it, was the best decision of my life. I wouldn't be where I am today if it weren't for my high school. Yes, my high school had a lot of issues and I could've easily slipped along the waste side, but I decided to make a stand, to change my future by doing something in that moment.

I am proud to say that I reintroduced cheer leading in my school when there wasn't one and was captain. I was a Spark Leader and taught my peers about Sex and Drugs awareness and the truth concerning their black history. I was the 1st President of my Journalism Academy and I won a contest with an organization called Scenarios USA where I was able to shoot a Hollywood produced film at my school that broadcasted on the Showtime Network. I made wonderful friendships. I am so proud of the woman I am today. By choosing to showcase what I had to offer in the mist of turmoil, I, in turn, realized that it was always up to me if I wanted to succeed in life. Not if I went to an all white or predominantly white high school. It was my tenacity, my grit, and my faith that got me through.

So I say this to you, no matter where you are in life, if it seems like there is no way out or if you feel like you're surroundings are holding you back, remember, if you believe in yourself first and trust that God has your back, then there is absolutely NO obstacle you cannot overcome. I trust in you, so start trusting in yourself and accomplish your goals...I'll be rooting for you. :)

-Goldactress