Society says we have to look and feel a certain way. We have to have our hair and face just right, and we have to spend as much money as possible to achieve that look. Oh, but you still have to look unique, or else no one will want to be around you because you don't have your own look. The idea of beauty and self esteem is such a distorted topic in the culture we live in today. People can try all their lives to fit in and feel comfortable with themselves, but the ideas of society on how a person should view themselves are ever changing, and because of this, people may never achieve full societal and self satisfaction with how they present themselves. (*Disclaimer: this article discusses mostly women, but that does not mean it doesn't reign true for everyone who may be criticized for their confidence. No matter who you are, you should feel confident and proud of who you are. Don't let ANYONE tell you how you should look, think, or act.*)
There are many issues with the way society thinks of how beauty should be defined. We are getting further away from allowing people to be themselves, and moving more towards judging people for feeling comfortable in their own skin. Women especially are victims to this judgment because if they don't have the best makeup and their face isn't perfect, they get their flaws picked out individually. Makeup costs an excessive amount of money, but yet it's expected that women wear it to look "their best". Then, as soon as people go buy all the makeup they love and feel confident and beautiful wearing, they are hated on because they give "false advertisement" to other people. Women don't exist as an advertisement. They are allowed to wear whatever they want and feel confident and comfortable in. Whether a woman is wearing makeup or not should not deter you from loving her any less than she loves herself. A woman is a person with an entire personality to get to know that does not include the way she looks.
Additionally, the fashion industry is ruining women's self-esteem rather quickly by constantly changing the ratio of waist/bust size compared to the size number. The idea of a woman's figure has changed drastically since the 1950's and 60's and it puts a lot of pressure on women to get themselves to lose weight and look almost impossibly skinny. Marilyn Monroe was a huge fashion icon, and she was nowhere near as skinny as today's standards would expect her to be. That doesn't mean she wasn't beautiful. Many stores do not have the same sizing and certain stores upsize, which puts more stress on women to be skinny, and to fit the "supermodel" body figure. The reality is that this just isn't logical or fair to women to not universalize sizes. Apart from the prominent sizing issue in the fashion industry, women are especially penalized for wearing clothes that they like or feel confident in. If a women wears sweats pants and a t-shirt, she looks like she is lazy and doesn't try. However, if a woman wears a revealing shirt or outfit, she is labeled "slut" and gets an instantly negative reputation. How women dress is no one's business except their own.
Society should not be able to define beauty. An individual should be free to define it how they please, and express themselves however they want based on their own definition. We do not exist to please others. We do not exist to fall into the uniformity of trends and the beliefs that everyone has to look the same in order to be beautiful. We as humans were clearly made to be different and we were made to feel proud of the way we are, not change ourselves every chance we get. The problem is that we encourage people who don't feel pretty to love themselves, but we get jealous at people who do love themselves. A person should not be berated for loving themselves. A person should be able to fill up their phone with selfies in different positions and lightings, no matter how they look. They should not be made fun of for taking too many photos of themselves. Loving yourself and being proud of yourself for the way you look does NOT make someone conceited. Having photos to remember a day where you felt confident and beautiful is important and there is no such thing as too many selfies.
It's truly a challenge for people to be able to fully love themselves in today's society. There are many obstacles that may prohibit someone from feeling totally comfortable and happy in their own skin, and almost all of the problems that may arise are because of the way society views and makes molds of how people should look. If a person doesn't match society's mold, they are cut and edited and changed until they do fit, but they often lose a huge part of themselves in that expression that got limited. It's easier to teach little girls to love themselves, rather than to teach them that they need to change from the time they are old enough to talk. Let people be who they are and love who they are. If you have a problem accepting someone for the way they love and express themselves, maybe the problem is with you instead.
