Your Guide To Hanukkah

Happy Hanukkah everyone. Yes, it is that time of the year again. The time of year every little Max and Rebecca gets excited for eight nights of gifts. Here in the good ole’ Bible belt, Jewish people are rare and you might have some questions about Hanukkah. Well, I am here to answer all of your questions about Hanukah.

How do you Spell Hanukkah?

Hanukkah or Chanukkah, either version is fine. The C is silent. Don’t pronounce it.

What is the best Hanukkah movie?

The best part of December for many is the Christmas movies. “The Christmas Story”, “Elf”, “Fred Claus”, are all staples of ABC Family’s 25 days of Christmas. Well, us Jews (Yes I am a part of the Tribe) don’t have many movies to go on.

The best Hanukkah movie isn’t really a movie, it is a TV special. The “Rugrats”, yes the Nickelodeon show, has the best Hanukkah special. It is not that it is the best because it is good, it is the best because there really isn’t any competition. So yes, my favorite movie to watch during our eight nights of fun involves Tommy Pickles. Don’t hate.

What is the Best Hanukkah Song?

Adam Sadler’s “Hanukkah Song”, duh.

How do you light the candles on the Menorah?

Very simple actually. You only light one candle for every night of Hanukkah. So by the end of the holiday, all nights of the candle will be lit. Yes there are nine candles of the menorah, but the middle candle is the lighter candle, used to light the rest of the candles.

What do you eat during Hanukkah?

Well for one no pork. C’mon that is first-day stuff. We eat just about anything, especially bagels (duh, they are so good). You might invasion a grand fest, but a meal during Hanukkah is probably take out from the local Chinese restaurant. That is about as fancy as it gets for us in the tribe.

Do you really get eight gifts?

Yes, we get one gift every night of Hanukkah.

Anything else I should know?

Not much really. I could explain the meaning of the holiday to you, but that is what Wikipedia is for. So during the eight nights of Hanukkah do yourself a favor and find someone who is Jewish, their last name will have a 'stein' in it, and hang out with them for the celebration.

Their mother will feed you just because “you need to eat honey” while at the same time will worry about everything, and get in arguments for no reason. The dinner conversation will eventually turn to politics and who got the best deal on paper towels.

Oy’vey.