I've been a new big sister three times. The first I don't really remember, the second I got to leave school early and by the third I was wondering if this was becoming a routine. I was honored to take on the "duty" of being an older sibling. I felt like a protector and a teacher. It was always a sign of authority when I was out doing "adult things" while my younger siblings looked in awe and talked about the day they would be able to do it too. I never really did think that day would come--you know, when they would be able to do it too. What I was too naive to realize, too young to understand was that those crammed one bed sleepovers, elaborate plans to catch Santa Claus, and "but she was allowed to" complaints would one day come to an end.

This past week I had a harsh reality check. As I came home from college, shocked that another year was over, I realized I wasn't the only one growing up. I was standing in my backyard trying to figure out how to zoom out on an ancient camera my dad swore was "perfectly fine" as my sister posed with her prom date. She was a senior. Suddenly all of those "but she was allowed to" complaints came to my mind and I panicked to tell her that some of my college stories aren't the best examples. But who was I kidding? She'll make her own decisions now. When that limo door shut and I started to leave I couldn't believe my beautiful sister was actually on her way to prom and that she was using my handbag, but that's beside the point.

It's not just my little sister making milestones in her life, my younger brothers are too. Off to high school and now taller than me without shoes on.This is going to sound selfish, but I don't want them to grow up yet. I don't want to know that I can't give my little brothers piggybacks anymore and that my sister won't call me to ask if layers are still a thing. All of those "adult things" I did, they were now doing too. But something I need to realize, understand, and stubbornly accept is that as I'm growing up, they are too. Time is life's most precious gift, but also it's harshest reality. One moment I'm fixing my brother's tie for communion and the next my hand is on his shoulder as he gets confirmed. As life continues to take all of us on this journey it's important to remember we're on it together. It's moments when my brother looks out to me when he get's on first base, and my sister asks me to hide her beers for a party in my closet (sorry, mom) I remember that I'm still their big sister no matter how grown up they are.