Some of us are meant to be doctors. Some of us are meant to be garbage men/women. Others are meant to be unemployed, but for me, I know I'm meant to be a mommy. The stigma for wanting to be a young parent used to be the “norm” way back when, but now it seems that people are looked down upon for wanting to start their family early. This brings me to the questions: Why is it OK for people to know they want to be a doctor? Why is it OK for someone to know they want to start a clothing line? Why is it NOT OK for someone to just want to be a mom?
My name is Madyson Gasper, and I'm meant to be a mom.
Ever since I was a little girl, I would play with babies all day, every day. I had one doll in particular that I called Karen. Karen and I went everywhere together. My mom had me at the young age of 18. Some may say I was an accident, some may say I was a miracle. According to my mom, I was born dead so I think that's a damn cool miracle. The way she had raised me, despite all of the hardships and obstacles of being a young mother, was absolutely amazing. There is no doubt in my mind that I could do that for my own little squishies. I've always told my mom I'm going to be married by 21, have my first baby by 23, and have my last baby by 30. It's important to me that I am a young mom because the odds of me being able to be around for their huge life-moments are higher than being an older mom.
Speaking to my friends and family about wanting to be a young mom has shown many different sides of them. Some of my friends are very supportive and know I could handle anything thrown my way, but some of them really don't believe it's the right thing to do. Personally, I think it's not right for them to do. My friends couldn't imagine me being a young mother because they wouldn't want that themselves. Sometimes it's hard putting yourself in other peoples shoes and that's totally understandable, but being a friend means supporting their decision whether you think it's right or not (In most cases). I hear so many times, “Oh my gosh why would you want to be a mom so young. You're going to miss out on so many things in life.” Maybe I will miss out on going bar-hopping every weekend and being able to date multiple people, but will I actually miss that? Probably not. Just because I would be a young mom doesn't mean I would miss out on the fun things in life, it just means I would have a little two-footer behind me, and probably a huge diaper bag on my side. I want to travel, I want to explore and see the world and do crazy things, but I want to do that with my babies; and by babies I mean by actual babies and their dad.
My family on the other hand knows for a fact I would be a great momma. It's all I talk about, dream about, think about. Along with my friends, there are a few family members that would enjoy seeing me graduate college and start my career first before jumping into such a huge commitment. I agree that I should be financially stable before starting a family, but I don't necessarily believe I need to graduate college first. Being financially stable will not only help with bringing up my babies the way I want to, but it will also show that I'm able to take on such a huge challenge because I want to. Again with being someone wanting to be a doctor, think of grad school. That costs umpteen thousands of dollars, as does a child.
Whenever I think about being a mom, I think of the feeling of growing someone inside you. Sharing that baby with the person you love most in this world. Sharing the cravings, and the crabby nights (or days) during the pregnancy. Sharing the tears when you first hold your newborn. Sharing the changing of dirty diapers, and puke-filled clothing. I think of looking at that baby, and thinking about how lucky you are to have them in your life. I think of watching them learn to walk and talk. I think about them going to school, and graduating like me. I think of watching them grow up to be their own person and be able to support them with whatever they do. It excites me imagining my kids running up to me and screaming, “Mommy look!” when they show me a painting they did at school. Or maybe thinking about waking up to my husband holding my baby while making breakfast. To some of you, this may seem overwhelming, but to those of you out there that understand how I feel, doesn't reading this give you butterflies? Doesn't it make you want to find someone to share this with if you don't have someone already? Luckily for me, I think I have found my person to share all of this with.
I often wonder why people don't live their lives the way they want, regardless of what others say. I get upset when people I care about let others control the way they live, but then I take a step back and realize I do the same exact thing. I completely take in everyone's opinions, and thoughts about how I should do certain things. Sometimes I say thank you for the advice but this is best for me — OK I actually do that WAY more than not. I hate the feeling of letting others down. I have such a huge heart that it's tough for me to say no sometimes and take care of myself first. I need to start practicing what I preach. I'll probably end up writing a letter about my beliefs one day. Because I have such a hard time saying no, I have troubles talking openly about wanting a baby-but apparently I don't have that big of troubles considering I'm writing this for everyone to read.
It's a passion of mine-being a mom. Call me crazy, but one of my favorite things to watch are Huggies commercials because it's mostly soon-to-be mommas, or ones who had just given birth. Whenever I'm passionate about something, I become obsessed almost. Not in a creepy way, but in a way that I don't want to give whatever it is up. I'm passionate about a lot of things like American Sign Language and the importance of it, theatre and acting, “Tangled,” creating happiness for others, and so much more. I have so much passion in life itself that I have to share it with others.
I know anyone can do whatever they want if they put their all into it. Life is so short that it should only be spent the way you want it to be spent. As you can tell, I'm pretty set on this particular choice for what I plan on doing. I could go on and on talking about how excited I get thinking about one day being a momma. For now, I'm going to continue my education, work as hard as I can, and wait for the day I see the 'plus sign' on that pregnancy test. I hope by writing this, I inspired other women and men like me that just want to crack the whip and get going already. I hope you are all able to express these feelings openly without feeling like you'll be judged for it. Honestly, you'll be judged no matter what you do. I like the quote, “You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. So do what you want.” If I become a mom anytime soon, I'm sure I'll write about it, so stay tuned.
P.S. I want people to know it's OK to not want kids, or to not be able to have kids. There are other ways of filling those holes in your heart. Just don't let that destroy your thoughts and dreams.
