College graduation seemed so far away but it came sooner than I expected and it is definitely beyond stressful. I have so many worries, thoughts, and scenarios running through my head about what to do with my life and it constantly fills me with stress. I would be lying though if I didn’t say that I was excited to be done with school because I am. College graduation is a huge milestone and is something that everyone should be proud of and excited about, but I’m finding myself more often worried than excited.
Should I stay in the area and start a career or follow where I want to be and take a risk? Do I apply for this type of job? What type of jobs do I even apply for? I clearly am not qualified for this job am I? Will I have enough money to make a move right now in my life? What if I don’t find a job at all and get stuck working in the food industry for the next 2 years? How can I apply for jobs when I don’t even know what I really want to do?
These are the types of questions that run through my head on a daily basis. The amount of time I spend worrying about situations that aren’t even here yet is unreal. These thoughts consume so much of my time that I don’t even think about what I’m doing now or saving my grade in my classes or making sure I have my assignments done for the week. I have become someone who is consistently concerned and has lost hope in something that hasn’t even started.
I like to think that my life will fall into place and people often tell me it will, but I have a hard time believing it. I struggle with the fact that I will find a path where I’ll be doing what I want to, even though I’m not completely sure what that is yet. I often feel lost and unsure on where I want my life to go. People ask me what I like to do and I give them an unsteady answer followed by “I don’t know”. I often wish that I was an Education major or went to school for nursing, because at least then I would know what I was going to do with my life. I wouldn’t have to stress over the fact about what job I want or what career path to take, but rather simply picking a company. It’s hard, stressful, and even depressing, but I like to think it’ll work out.