For the past two months, I had been in a constant state of sadness at school that couldn't seem to shake itself away. I constantly felt lonely although I was surrounded by people, and didn't feel as beautiful as I wanted to. I felt like a failure most of the times, thinking one test grade defined me.
Due to this, I pulled up transfer applications and was getting ready to apply to other schools. I thought that leaving would make me happier. Turns out, I have more here than I expected. What I thought was my lowest point was actually preparing me for my happiest moments: now. Even when it seems like the world is crashing around you, take a moment to look back at what you have.
Your family is the most important thing.
Going home for just one weekend to see my family was literally the biggest breath of fresh air. Sitting in my own bed, eating my mom's food, and being in New York City made me the happiest girl alive. I genuinely enjoyed being in the city, although I can't imagine living there permanently. If you're feeling down, give your parents a quick call. I'm sure they would love to hear from you and know how you're doing.
Stop looking at every inconvenience as a bad thing: it's a chance to grow.
I thought that the worst things to happen to me were going to depress me forever. Turns out, they only taught me lessons about life, friends, and who you should allow to have an effect on you. Maybe getting a 70 on a Biology test will teach you how to study more efficiently, or a boy will teach you to stop letting bad energy into your life. Whatever it is, don't let it hold you back.
Cut that toxic energy out of your life.
Boy, if I had the energy to write an essay on toxic energy and doing things for yourself, it would be 500 pages long. Do not keep people in your life simply because of history or because they know too much about you. If they are not benefiting you, they are not for you.
If you feel that you have to make yourself smaller around them so they can shine, they are not for you. You need to do things for yourself no matter what they may be. Who cares what they have to say in return? Let them talk their talk because that's all it'll ever be: words.
Involve yourself in things you love.
I never thought that writing would be something I would pursue in college, but writing for The Odyssey has made me feel so empowered. Having a platform to say what you feel is so important. If you have Greek life at your school, I would also recommend going through sorority recruitment.
Even though I've only been in a sorority for a month, I have met so many awesome people and definitely made the right choice. You're bound to make tons of friends and talk to so many different people with different mindsets.
Even though it might seem like your world is in shambles, I can promise you will find your happiness. Even if you don't think you will anytime soon, take charge of it. Go out there and make your own peace, whether that be within yourself or within other people. Know that you are not worth your wrongdoings, and there are always better things coming. A bigger plan is underway.
