It's holiday season, and every 20-something out there is preparing for the interrogations. Far too many relationship-status inquiries will be made. Even more job-and-career-plan questions will be asked. Just for fun, someone is bound to bring up your financial stability (or lackthereof), every aspect of yourself that they think is wrong, and any embarrassing memory that you hoped had died. And you know what, fellow 20-somethings? You need to have your life figured out.

Now that I've been 20 for nearly a month, I feel the pressure building. Thankfully, Thanksgiving did not involve extended family. That's one benefit of telling everyone you're not going to be there, and then making a spontaneous 9 hour drive to show up. I didn't have to face any awkward conversations, partly because the excitement took up so much space in the room and partly because I filled the rest of the space with, "and by the way, I have a huge speeding ticket to pay for because of this drive."

But everyone knows that Thanksgiving is just the tester holiday. It's like a pretest, the kind that you don't take seriously until it's in front of you. After, you start studying more than ever before. That's where I am now--studying.

See, Christmas is coming. People expect me to show up at family functions (whether I will remains undetermined; no, I will not apologize for selectively choosing who to spend time with). If I do show up, I have to have my life figured out. We all do.

Isn't that right?

Of course it is. Think about it. Your extended families slew of divorces screams that you, a 20-something, must be in a stable relationship, right? All of the career changes, pink slips, and, "Oh, I quit that," comments translates very well into, "You need a stable job right now with a set-in-stone career path," right? The ever-shrinking pile of gifts, reductions on gift card amounts, and, "We can't make it because of travel costs," replies obviously means that you need to have your stocks, savings, credit score, and cash-on-hand in top shape, right? Your relatives dehumanizing comments about people-groups they don't identify with creates a safe-space for you to be yourself without a defensive wall, right? And yes, it's obvious that any embarrassing, difficult, or long-forgotten memory must be talked about with complete lack of respect for you, but you must respect everyone else in the room, right?

Actually, no. None of that is right.

This holiday season, tell your family that you do have your life figured out. Tell them that you know exactly what you don't want to do, where you don't want to be, and who you don't want to become. Tell them that your voice will be used to speak your mind. Tell them that you are beautiful, you have purpose, and you refuse to be treated any less than human. Tell them that you are you, and that you will figure your life out when they all do--along the ride of this crazy life that you get to design.