The traditional vision for a woman, no matter what culture you see, are meant to be in the house with their children and care for them. They are supposed to care for the family and be the nurturing role in the household. Most people believe that all women want to have children someday, then their life will be complete. For decades, women are expected to get married and have children. They are told that they are suppose to take care of the house and children, while the man goes to work, but clearly over the past few years, this has changed.
Women these days have a different perception as to the “dream” is in their own opinion. While many women want to work in the house and care for kids, many of them don't. They want to make money and just live with their husband without the child. That is their definition of happiness and the perfect life.
“It's just too much to handle , I don't believe I would be a good parent,” says Christie Lebrun, a college student at Lesley University. “I had a glimpse of what parenting was like and I don't think it's for me, if I don't believe I will be a good parent, why should I be expected to?
“Children are human beings, and based on how I raise them is how they will see the world. With the amount of tragic things, and horrible people in this world that’s also another reason why I don't want any children," said Christie.
Christie believes that many children are born into a family where they are not being taken care of well. With all of the responsibility and hard work to raise a child she and many other women are not up for the challenge. Women pushed to have children and when they don't, they are told that they are being selfish or that they will regret it and be lonely.
“Just because I don't want to have kids, doesn't mean I'm selfish and bitter,” says Makaila Williams, a student at Bentley University. “My parents have a strong marriage and took really good care of me, but that still doesn't change the fact that I don't want kids; as for me being lonely, I won't be.” “Just because I don't have kids does not mean I won't still have my friends and family, therefore that statement is just nonsense.”
Makaila believes that having children can be a gift, but it wouldn't be gift for her. She believes that having kids is a lot of responsibility and she doesn't think she's up for it. Also, when mothers have children while having a job, in some occupations, their salaries get lower. "People say that I would regret not having kids but I think it's actually the opposite," says Makaila. “In my opinion, they would be a burden and if I feel like that before I have a kid , imagine when I have it; why would I bring a human being into this world just because I'm a woman?”
Other people, like Shalaya Alexander from Bridgewater State University, believes that having children is an ultimate gift in this world. “Having a child is one of my dreams ever since I was in elementary school,” says Shalaya. “I guess you can call me old fashioned but I want to settle down, get married, and then have lots of children, probably 5 or 6,” she goes on to say. “Even though being a mother is the ultimate reward, some people are just not cut out to be a mother; I do feel strongly about having a child, but that also means I want to be a good mother, and that is a huge challenge in and of itself.”
Although Shalaya wants children, she doesn't believe it's for everyone. She believes that if you take on the responsibility to be a mother, it should not be half-hearted because it is a human being not a pet.
“I’ve always wanted a little me in this world, a part of me and the person I love, but not many people feel as strongly about that concept, which is why it should not be forced upon you.”
“Having a child can be beautiful, if and only if you are willing to put your child first before everything else; As a mother, you should be able to not do certain deeds that would potentially hurt your child,” says Charlotte Breen from Emmanuel College. “I can understand why some people don’t want to have children because it is a sacrifice that you make for the rest of your life, which is why you have to be one hundred percent ready.” Charlotte explains that this is a sacrifice she is willing to make because she would love to have children. She says that “there's no turning back when you have a kid and if you decide to turn your back , you just hurt a human being who was depending on your care.”
Even though in many people's eyes having children is a must when you get married or in a serious relationship, the U.S statisticssay that 47 percent of women between 15 and 44 do not have children. This is a breaking record since the 70’s where the percentage was much higher. According
to statistics many women are waiting a long period of time to have children, or
do not plan on having them at all. Many couples are realizing the expenses and think twice about having kids, or do not have them at all.
Raising a child up until the age of 18 in the United States can range from 200,000-300,000 and that is an expense not everyone is willing to pay. Bringing up a child properly requires a lot of money, time, and patience, which some women are not willing to give up. Because of the extreme responsibility and devotion some know ahead of time that they are not up for the challenge. Those who are know what they are getting into, and choose to raise a child.
Having a child isn’t for everyone; therefore you definitely should be ready if you decide to make that decision. Although it is traditionally known for all women to want to have children some day, that concept is not completely true. Many women in this generation do not want children ever, yet are still given odd looks of disapproval when making their views clear. People encourage us to have children but if they don’t succeed or are not able to care for the child, they are still given looks of disapproval.
Everyone is different and as women we should be free to decide whether or not we want to have children.
