Why You Shouldn't Say "I Understand"
Relationships

You Will Never Truly Understand What Someone Else Is Going Through

Telling someone you understand may not be the best thing to say.

943
https://unsplash.com/photos/ysiOlHXJM38

There is no combination of two words that I despise more than, "I understand". People say this all the time, and don't even think anything of it. I am definitely guilty of saying "I understand" before, but it never dawned on me how much I couldn't stand to hear it until about two weeks ago. The two words seem so simple and seem like something that would be completely fine to say, but to some people they mean way more than you might think.

Hearing someone say, "I understand" after telling them anything can be very frustrating. You want to scream but you can't because they probably did not mean any harm by saying it. Instead, you're left with the internal turmoil because the words make your stomach churn but you haven't addressed it. These words are so simple but can mean so much to a person.

I do not believe in saying "I understand" after hearing anything unless it is a fact or direction. No matter what, I don't think that anyone will ever understand how a person feels or what they are saying because most of the time those two people did not have the same experiences.

When someone is angry about something, chances are you have been angry like that before too, but you probably did not experience the exact same thing. Even if two people did experience the same thing, you will never truly "understand" how a person is feeling because everyone experiences things in a different way. Everyone has different emotions toward different things or stronger emotions than others.

Sometimes it can be hard to think of anything to say other than something along the lines of "I know, I understand." I know I have done this before without ever thinking about it. Now that my perspective has changed, some things I would rather hear instead of "I understand", would be "I'm sorry", or even just a simple "that sucks". These words seem simple and some may view them as coming off like they don't care.

After realizing that I could never truly understand what a person was experiencing or feeling, it felt like saying "I understand" showed more of a careless attitude. I believe you can understand what someone is saying, but you can never truly understand how they feel unless they tell you straight up.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

These 11 Face Masks On Etsy Support Small Businesses While Fighting The Spread Of Coronavirus

We're staying safe as states start lifting lockdown guidelines.

I, like most people who have had the luxury of being able to stay at home during this time, haven't spent much time outdoors at all. But when I do brave the great outdoors for a walk or to get to the grocery store, you won't find me without a mask.

My family and I were lucky enough to have family friends who were sewing some and had extras to give to us, but most of my friends and loved ones outside my immediate family have had to order some (or make a makeshift one out of scarves or bandanas).

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

13 Reasons We're Using Quarantine As The Ultimate Excuse For Online Shopping This Month

The one thing we haven't distanced from is our bank account.

Throughout quarantine, I've been FaceTiming most of my friends in a full turtleneck or the go-to cozy sweater I keep wrapped around the chair in my room. Either way, I always have tea in my hands to keep myself warm — till this past week.

For most of the country who hasn't had the luck of quarantining in 90-degree weather on their family's lake house or with a backyard pool, things began to change this month. Our favorite shows came out with summer seasons, the sun came out, and we started spending more time outside.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Morgan Wooten To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

Morgan Wooten

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
HBO Max

If you are a normal person who spends most of their time streaming TV shows, you'll know that "Friends" was taken off Netflix early in 2020. Given that a global pandemic followed shortly after, many diehard fans of the show stuck in quarantine have been experiencing significant Central Perk withdrawal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

How To Interview A Class Of 2020 Graduate

What they've been through is truly unprecedented.

Odyssey

No matter how you want to spin it, the Class of 2020 will be the first class graduating amidst a global pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less
Netflix

By now, it is safe to declare "Outer Banks" on Netflix as THE TV Show of quarantine.

"Tiger King" got out to an early lead, but since, the Pogues and the Kooks have owned pop culture conversations while everyone has been cooped up this spring amidst a global pandemic. And if you are one of the very few people out there in the world that has not heard about "Outer Banks" and or haven't binged it yet, well...

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Spoke To A California ER Doctor About COVID-19, And Y'all, Our Healthcare Workers Know What's Up

In light of what's going on in the world, it's time to get some front-line perspective.

It seems like the only thing I do these days is scroll through social media in a desperate attempt to gain information. My phone has called me out on my screen time more than once, and I just continue to ignore it. You're probably in the same boat — stuck at home, scrolling deeper and deeper into a hole of conspiracy theories and possible "back to normalcy" dates, hungry for information.

While we know that the news is not our mental health's friend these days, getting reliable information is helpful and necessary.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments