Last night, I had one of those dreams where my teeth fell out. It wasn’t the typical, “see a handful of bones and tongue over the hollow spaces” dream; it was more complex. My teeth seemed to uproot every time I said something hateful, rude, or cruel, etc. But the part that truly made it different than the other dreams was that my teeth grew back—slowly but surely. As a psychology major, I always find comfort in dissecting what is happening in my unconscious mind. I know that dreams where teeth fall out signify regret over something a person has said, and also the consequences from the utterance. There is nothing that I know of that explains them growing back, so I decided to create my own explanation.
A good friend of mine once told me that it takes three nice things to psychologically right the wrong of saying something mean or rude. Each tooth came back in three stages: baby, youth (after they lose them), and adult, the teeth I have now. If I said something cruel, I lost a tooth. If I apologized and gave three praises, the tooth grew back, stage by stage, until it was as good as new.
In the critically acclaimed novel, "The Help," Miss Aibileen Clark repeated the mantra, "You is kind, you is smart, you is important," anytime Skeeter was upset. These three nice things changed the girl's attitude at that moment and eventually her future.
When I learned that it took three positives to cancel out one negative, I was shocked. No wonder it is so natural for everyone to be mean, it is actually psychologically easier. I believe this is the root of our problem as a society. It is ingrained in us to do whatever is faster and more convenient for the time than for the future. We are letting our teeth cascade out of our hateful mouths without ever stopping to even pick them up. And, if we can’t even find the time to collect our own bones, then surely we won’t make the time to let them heal and grow back.
I was always taught that it if I had nothing nice to say, that I shouldn’t say anything at all. I am constantly wondering how that notion missed so many people. We must stop and think before we react, or we will all be toothless (metaphorically). There is nothing worse than carrying the regret that comes with hateful words. Once they are spoken, written, typed, etc. they cannot be taken back. If you do say something without thinking, you at least get a chance to make up for your actions by “saying three nice things." The only question is, will you? Just imagine how great the world can be if we all choose to spread kindness instead of hatred. One positive thought can change a person’s life, think about what three can do.
