You had a 5-year, no a 10-year plan that you would be a successful adult in your designated field of interest, maybe with the perfect family life and two dogs that are absolutely well-behaved and somehow never go potty in the house. But now, the perfect straight lines that you had envisioned have now blurred into a giant mess of tangles created by the harsh, actual reality of your life. If your are like me then your goals and ambitions are just barely unrealistic to the point that they seem capable in your mind. Your family and friends may have warned you of them but where hesitant not to crush your naive hopes and dreams.
You see, that's the problem with not being transparent, though. While we want to support those close to us we may be doing them harm by not telling them what may become of their somewhat high expectations. It is not ignorant to have hopes and dreams, but there is a limit to what can actually happen. Everyone wants that underdog story where the college dropout creates a multi-billion dollar company. However, we never fully visualize the hard work and persistence that they put in to get to where they are. Most of us unfortunately do not have that "umph" no matter how hard we may try. Some of us just simply do not have what it takes to make it to the rainbow's end of our dreams. I am one of these people and I have come to peace with it.
As I endeavor on moving back to Texas from the great city of Chicago a part of me feels like I have failed. However, my surrender to reality is not entirely my fault. See, I was set up for failure that was as harsh as the bitter cold of winter in the Midwest. Jobs are few and hard to come by here, making me settle for a job that I cannot even afford to live on my own off of, forcing me to live with relatives. However, the situation has become way more toxic for any person to handle, forcing me to fold the cards I've been dealt by fate. I find myself somewhat wise for not continuing to play a hand that would result in a greater loss.
My mother always asks me what my "takeaway" is from each experience that I've had was. It's so hard for humans to reflect on their mistakes, where we must wallow in the pain for a bit to be able to change for the better. It's like pressing on a bruise, it hurts but the pain is what makes us remember what not to avoid doing the next time. Whatever your situation is right now, remember that you can always change your goals and that is quite alright. You do not owe anyone an explanation for it either. It's your life and you get to decide when you turn onto the next road that may lead to your future rainbow's end that is hiding behind dark clouds of the present.
