To anyone that has ever made me feel as if I wasn’t good enough, to all the relationships, almost relationships, and friendships that have ended because I wasn’t worth your time -- this is for you.
I think no matter how old you are, the pain from being rejected will always hurt. You can be 14 years old experiencing your first heartbreak, 21 years old being ghosted by some guy you thought you could really like, or even 35 years old signing divorce papers you never thought you would. Whatever the case may be, it sucks, and no matter how many times we go through it, for some reason it doesn’t get easier.
When we first met, for some strange reason I thought you were different. You made me feel important, cared about, and most importantly like I mattered. You were my best friend, someone I could turn to no matter what. So when things changed, it was like being smacked in the face. It was so unexpected and it hurt. It hurt more than words can describe and the fact that you gave no reason to it made the pain even worse. A million questions raced through my head. What did I do wrong. Why wasn’t I good enough. Can I fix it?
I wanted answers, I needed answers. But looking back, I realize I knew the answers to those questions all along. I did nothing wrong. I am good enough. And I have nothing to fix. When someone decides that they don’t want you in their life anymore, take a moment and think do you really want them in yours. Why should I waste my time and effort on someone who isn’t willing to do the same for me?
So, I’m letting go. Not everyone in this world is going to appreciate the person that I am. There will be aspects of me that others won’t like. And that’s okay. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I would rather have them figure that out and let me know then string me along. At the end of the day the only person that needs to enjoy me is me, I’m the only one that’s going to be dealing with myself for the rest of my life. So if I’m happy, then that’s all that should matter, and your rejection cannot hurt me.
I am learning to love myself. It’s hard, but I’m learning. So much so, that I’ve grown to realize that I do not need anyone else’s validation or approval. I know my self-worth. So I don’t need you to like me. I don’t need you to make me feel like I’m good enough or worth your time. The only person that I need in my corner is me. The only person I need to make sure loves and cares 100 percent for me, is me. And I do. I love me, so the fact that you don’t means nothing. So as you read this, just know that this isn’t to make you regret pushing me from your life. It’s just to inform you that I am doing well without you.
I’ve found people who want me around, and make me smile brighter and laugh harder than I ever did when you were around. I want you to know that I am okay, and even though your rejection hurt at the time, it made me so much stronger.
