I am tired of having to be my future self. The version of myself that has everything together. The version of myself that has graduated college, saved up all my money and is making all the right decisions.

The version of myself that does not exist.

As budding college students, we tend to be obsessed with the idea of success. The idea of our perfect future. Where everything isn't as stressful and maybe we have a little bit of an idea of what the heck we are doing with our lives. Most of high school, I spent dreaming of the future. I pictured life outside of Fairwood, Washington and I saw myself without petty adolescent stress and a lot less acne. So far in college I have acquired a new kind of stress--the kind that comes with midterms, party themes and tiny dorm showers-- and my skin looks basically the same.

So things haven't changed too much, but that doesn't mean I should continue to waste my time off daydreaming when I could be out in the world actually living my life.

I am approaching the end of my first year of University life and I would like to think I have learned a lot of lessons (blowing all your dining money on iced coffee isn't the best idea). Yet one of the more recent and probably more important lessons I have just begun to learn is that I do not need to be my future self. Not yet.

I am no where near being the pulled together version of myself I hope to be one day.

I take the bus down to where I work. I get distracted in geology. I spend a lot of money on granola bars and not enough on paper towels. I don't trust easily and I fall in love a little bit with everyone I meet. Sometimes I push off homework and fall asleep in public places. I'm afraid to speak up in class even when I know the answer. I forget about plans.

I am a mess half the time, but man, do I have some good stories because of it.

One day (I would like to think) I will have enough money to buy more than granola bars. More people than just my friends and family will read my articles. I'll live in a really nice house by the beach with actual hardwood floors. I'll be stable enough to support three dogs and four chickens (and a family too...). I'll be everything that I ever dreamed I could be.

I will never lose sight of my goals, but I refuse to spend any more time with head in the clouds. It is time to come down and start experiencing what is going on right in front of me.

I will just be me, who I am in this stage of my life.

So I encourage you to do the same. Live the life you need right now.

Lay in the sun all day, date a boy, take a break, laugh a lot, be late to class, go to a party, eat pop tarts, go to bed early, call your mom often, get in a fight with your best friend then make up thirty seconds later, don't let people get you down and keep reminding yourself that with each day comes another chance to create a story you will hold with yourself for the rest of your life.

Do not worry about being your future self.

Worry about being yourself.