Dealing with death is never an easy task. Whether we are presented with a death of a loved one or a stranger, taken by cancer, overdoses, suicide, old age, tragic events, etc., it is never easy. Why is it not easy?
The opening chapter of the Bible tells us that we are made “in the image of God” (Gen 1:27). Scholars and theologians have studied on this particular verse and what it means, but we have already had the answer. The apostle John, in his first letter, gives us an important insight into at least one significant implication. “God is love,” he writes, “and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them” (1 Jn 4:16). To bear the character of God is to have love hardwired into our essential nature.
The more we are conformed to the character of God, the more perfectly loving we will become. We are created to love.
Losing someone hurts, because we were made to love and we love that person so much. We love the time we had spent with them, we love the memories we made with them, we love the way that person made us feel, and we love that this person was a part of our life. So then why were they taken from us?
I will always believe that there was some sort of mistake, that people didn’t deserve it. They didn't deserve to die. I will always believe that they deserved so much more. They deserved to live their life and be with their families and friends.
For fathers, they deserved to walk their daughters down the aisle.
For mothers, they deserved to dance with their son at his wedding.
For children, they deserved to grow up and have children of their own.
For grandparents, they deserved to teach their grandchildren about life.
For friends, they deserved to be there at every get-together.
No matter how many cliches are thrown about how "only the good die young" or "we loved him, but God loved him more," no matter how many of those sayings we choose to believe to find some semblance of comfort, we cannot lose faith and blame God.
Bad things will happen in life. We cannot give up.
We have to be strong for the ones we have lost. I believe that they still watch over us, even after they have gone. The ones that love us, never really leave us. We want to make them proud. We have to show them that we will live out their memories and keep them in our hearts forever. We cannot stop living our life. They would not want that for us.
We cannot lose hope.
Celebrate their lives; don’t focus on their death. Cherish the memories, continue their legacies. Be grateful for the opportunity to have learned from them and experience life with them.
And while you are mourning, always remember,
1. Realize that everyone deals with death differently- do not compare your situation with anyone else's. We all process death differently.
2. Open up and talk about it, but only when you are ready- the healing process starts when you talk about it.
3. Let yourself be vulnerable- do not hold in your emotions. Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't cry.
4. Allow your friends to be there for you — you have people in your life that will be there for you no matter what it is that you are going through, but you’ll never know that unless you let them in.
5. Give yourself time to heal- time heals all wounds.
