Just this morning I was told something that really stuck with me. I have heard it before, but coming from this individual, a senior whom I greatly respect, I saw this phrase in a new light.

I was sitting alone, working on homework, and she came up to me and sat down to chat. We talked about school, classes, and when she noticed the safety pin attached to my shirt. In the wake of Donald Trump becoming president, a wide scope of Americans decided to show the world that no matter what our president says or does, some of us are welcoming. Are accepting. Are good. How else to do that than with a small symbol of your safety but a safety pin. So yes, I have one attached to my clothes and I wear it in the odds that maybe someone will need a safe space, and that safe space can possibly be myself. Carrying on, the senior questioned my pin and asked me why I decided to wear it. I told her the same thing I told all of you. So I could potentially help someone who needs it in this crazy world. She paused for a moment and looked at me almost sadly.

"It's hard to be accepting nowadays... but in order to really be there for others and be that support, you have to love yourself first".

Those words, I had heard them a million times before. Everyone says, "You can't truly love someone until you love yourself!" or "Loving yourself is the first step to being kind!", yet I had never given it a moments notice. I can love just fine and still think badly of myself, I can care about others. Of course.

But maybe, just maybe, this future teacher, this friend of mine has a very valid point.

It's easy to call yourself an ally and proclaim to be endlessly supportive, understanding, and benevolent. Most people do so and do so frequently, particularly in recent times. It seems like every day a new protest has happened, a new law is being mentioned, another young person has been gunned down, and another woman has been assaulted for being born a man. So, of course, people want to defend their fellow men and women. This generation is one of compassion and openness, more so than any before it. Yet this generation is also the one with the most public portrayal of depression, anxiety, LGBTQ+ identity and so much more. We are a generation of problems, solutions, suicide, and safety. A mess of contradictions which ultimately brings me back to my main point.

It's impossible to truly be a pillar of support and acceptance if you have yet to accept yourself.

So when you want to be an ally, when you want to extend a hand of endless support, look inward first. Do you care about yourself? Do you accept yourself? Have you forgiven yourself for the wrongs that you've done? If the answer is no, you need to take a step back, take a breath, and evaluate how you can help yourself first. Sometimes love and compassion comes from knowing how to treat yourself well in the first place. Sometimes you're the first person you have to accept.

This has been a hard lesson. One long learned and long denied. I thought that no matter how I saw myself that I could truly treat others and help them through life. I was wrong and by learning how to help myself, I've been more accepting, more patient, and far more compassionate to others than I ever could have been.

In short, take care of yourself. It'll help those around you far much more in the long run. You deserve the acceptance and compassion that you're trying to give to others.