The title of Sweetheart is sought after by every woman that walks through the doors of the frat house, a select few are nominated, but there can only be one. So, 90 percent of the time, it’s not going to be you and that’s okay. I can say that it’s happened to me.

You’re going to be sad for a minute, but I promise it’ll all be okay. There are so many things about you that are better than just being a sweetheart. While trying your best and not receiving what you wanted is disappointing, I promise, all the things you did to earn the respect from the fraternity is not for nothing.

First, let’s address the most important part of college: your future.

You do not enroll in college, join a sorority or start dating a fraternity man to become a sweetheart, you join to enable the best future for yourself. One of the best parts of Greek life is the network you build through all the different organizations and just because you didn’t get sweetheart, doesn’t mean you lose those relationships.

In fact, now you get all the benefits but have to do zero have the work that goes with being a sweetheart. The best thing you can do is look at things in the big picture. So, in the grand scheme of things, you can’t put “sweetheart” on a resume.

Second, this is the time to work on yourself. Not getting sweetheart does not make you flawed, because odds are you’re literally flawless and the girl who did get it has been around for years and is also flawless.

What I mean by working on yourself, is that now is the time to realize that you’re not always going to win. You need to congratulate women who did receive the title because this is not the last time this will happen to you.

Third, you probably have so many things going on, why stress yourself out? Personally, my hourly planner is always jam-packed with sorority, school and work. After graduation, no one is going to ask you: “were you the sweetheart of Theta Apple Pi?” Because literally no one else cares and they probably don’t even know what a sweetheart is.

Image being at a work event and the only bragging point you have is the fact that five years ago, you were in a composite picture with a bunch of dudes competing for alcoholic of the year. Even if catering to the needs of fraternity men is your number one priority, no one said you have to stop doing what you’re doing, you can just keep doing it on your own time.

The last thing you want to do is live with bitterness in your heart, because that is not cute and brings negativity into your life that you do not need. If it’s your boyfriend’s fraternity, I promise he will still love you, it’s not his fault that you didn’t get it and it is not your fault either. If he really has beef about you not getting to wear his letters, then nothing is stopping him from the lavaliering you.