You Can't Fix Someone

You Can't Fix Someone

Take this from someone who's tried...
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Knowing you can't fix someone hurts. The idea that the only thing you can do is be there for them is not a particularly fun feeling.

“Why am I trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped?”
“What am I even doing here? They don’t want me.”
“Why am I even trying to fix someone whose un-fixable? They’re broken.”

These are the questions that you’re probably thinking if you’ve ever been in a situation like mine. One where you feel like the person is pushing you farther and farther, but let me tell you, they may be broken, but who isn’t? Who hasn’t had some drastic thing happen to them that makes them feel like they will never be okay again? If you haven’t been through this, then you will at some point; it will happen eventually. Ask yourself, did you really want help in the beginning? The answer is probably a no. Eventually, you realized that you needed whoever came into your life at that exact moment. You realized that they were there for you even when you didn’t want them. They stayed.

Everyone has some sort of dark secret that they haven’t told many people — if anyone. It’s hard to find someone who will understand what you’re going through and still think of you as someone who isn’t completely crumpled, just chipped or cracked. So, when someone like that walks into your life, it’s almost too good to be true. You don’t want to believe it; therefore, you tend to push them away. You’ll realize that they didn’t fix you but helped mend some of the cracks the best way they could. You fixed yourself; they just gave you the glue to do so.

“Rather than thinking of it as fixing someone, think about it as getting them back to the person you know they can be. A relationship is supposed to help someone else become the best version of themselves.” – J.C., UA Student

You have been put into someone’s life for a reason, whether it is to stay forever or to be there for a short time, you’re there because God put you there. Embrace it. You’re a lucky one. Not only did He see you to be fit for this person, but so did they. Maybe not instantly and with open arms, but they came to embrace you. They want you there for the time being, but they didn’t ask you to fix them because you can’t. So please, stop trying, and just start being there for them because believe it or not, they need you, and you need them just as much.

Everyone has a day that isn’t a particularly fun day. One of those days where you want to lay in bed and eat ice cream and not move from a spot for the duration of the day. It takes the people you meet in the future that make you realize that those days are days of the past. Those days don’t define you. It’s because of the ones who didn’t try to fix you but instead helped build you back to the person that they know you can be. The ones that make you want to get out of bed and go get coffee or go to the gym.

It’s not rare to find those people, but it is rare to be one of those people. It takes so much time and trust that some people don’t see it as being worth it, but trust me, it totally is. You’re blessed to find those people and should be honored to be one. You are doing so much more than you could ever know. It’s because you saw the potential that they had, and you ran with it. You embraced it. You encouraged them to get back up. You encouraged them to fix themselves.

“The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalms 34:18

The Lord is kind to those who are brokenhearted. He sends his strongest, most well-fit soldiers to help them. He uses the people He sends to support the ones who have a crushed spirit. He sends His men to do the job He can’t physically do. He sends His joy, grace, and wisdom to the broken, and He acts as the glue. He is so amazing. So amazing that He saw you to be fit for the job. To be fit for a person in a situation. He didn’t see you as perfect but as someone who has been broken before and knows what it takes to move on and heal. That’s His job, and that’s what He lives for and loves to do.

Please take from this that no, you can’t fix a person, but you can hand them the glue. Sometimes, whoever is broken just needs someone to listen, someone who will be there when no one else is. Someone who will cry with them and for them because that’s all you can do. But, if you do it right, you can and will mean more to that person than you could ever imagine. Just you wait and see the amazing things you can do. Watch them grow and eventually become the person who is there for someone else…or maybe you.

Keep doing amazing things in God’s grace, and you will see what He has in store for you. Who knows, you may end up being the person who fills the parts of the chipped and cracked person. Maybe you were the part that was missing.

Cover Image Credit: Mad Mikes America

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15 Bible Verses To Calm An Anxious Mind

Finding peace in the midst of turmoil.
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Anxiety hits us from all directions. Whether it be school stress, work stress, a stressful family situation, or anything else in life that causes us to feel unsettled, tired, and afraid of the future; anxiety can feel like it's taking over our lives.

As someone who constantly struggles with anxiety, I know how hard it is to find peace in the midst of a stressful situation. When we feel anxious about something, we generally try to do all that is in our power to control the situation. When we can't control it, we become even more anxious. So how do we stop this downward spiral of anxious turmoil?

We must turn to the one who is in control of all things. God holds all of our lives in his hands and is the only one who can calm our anxious minds. When we frantically struggle to put the pieces of our life together on our own, we will fail.

The only way to gain peace in the midst of anxiety is to turn to God, trusting in His perfect will and His power to hold us in His hands. The best way to remember this truth is to look to the Bible. Here are some verses to help us remember God's provision in the midst of anxiety.

1. Philippians 4:6

We don't have to be anxious when we can freely talk with God about our needs. We can cry out to Him for help and He will hear us.

2. John 14:27

Peace is a wonderful thing. Notice how it says, "I do not give it as the world does." We have to remember that worldly peace is only temporary, but God's peace is forever.

3. Isaiah 41:10

Not only will God give us peace, but He will also strengthen us. The image of God "upholding us with His righteous right hand" is pretty powerful and very comforting.

4. Psalm 94:19

Anxiety can make us sad and upset, but knowing that God is with us can bring so much joy in the face of desolation.

5. Psalm 34:4

Freedom from fear is so empowering! Imagine God setting us free from all the fear that holds us back. Oftentimes fear can make us feel trapped, but God can set us free.

6. 1 Peter 5:7

God cares about us so much, that He allows us to cast all of our worries on His shoulders.

7. 2 Corinthians 12:10

Human capacity is limited. We can by no means do everything, in fact, we can't do anything without the help of God.

8. Philippians 4:13

Nothing can hold us back or scare us when we have the strength of God.

9. Proverbs 3:5

We always try to lean on our own understanding, but it will never be enough. We try to control everything, but it will always fall through. It is because of this that we need to trust in the Lord for everything.

10. Matthew 6:25-34

This passage, while somewhat lengthy, is such a great reminder that God is truly in control of everything. We don't need to worry about a thing because He has it all planned out. We stress out about things that were never ours to worry about in the first place.

11. 2 Timothy 1:7

We were not created to be afraid, but to be empowered and loved by God.

12. Isaiah 26:3

If we simply keep God in the forefront of our minds, we will have perfect peace. Trust in Him brings the greatest peace.

13. Matthew 11:28-30

How comforting is this? Anxiety causes a lot of weariness but knowing that we can rest in God is amazing.

14. Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for us, so we don't need to worry about it. His plan is always good and always exactly what we need. His plans will always be better than anything we try to control ourselves.

15. Isaiah 41:13

When we feel anxious and afraid we can take comfort in knowing that God is reaching out His hand to us to help us trust Him and walk with Him.

While anxiety can feel overpowering or terrifying, we should not fear, but rather trust in the perfect and never-changing love and peace of God.

Cover Image Credit: Huffington Post

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Open Air Preachers Don't Belong at Marshall

There are appropriate ways to share about Christ, and these guys just don't get it.

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Marshall University has an absolutely beautiful campus. After spending 4 years here, spending time around the memorial fountain is honestly going to be something I miss. During the week, campus life was usually always so bustling and exciting. There always seemed to be something going on at the student center plaza, some of which was more pleasing than others.

This past year on multiple occasions, Marshall had a few unwelcoming visitors. Some preachers came in, usually with signs, and would stand along a path that most of the student body would take on their way to and from class. They would start yelling Scripture to anyone who might be listening, but they were very rude and derogatory in their proclamations. One guy had told a girl that she would go to hell for the shirt that she was wearing. Another one was shouting, "God hates gays!" It eventually got so bad that they were banned from campus, multiple times.

As a Christian myself, this makes me so angry to see other people that claim the name of Jesus treat others poorly. Jesus wasn't like that. He was gentle, kind, and loving. That's part of being a Christian. It's what you sign up for. I personally don't believe that these "preachers" should be allowed on Marshall's campus because of the way they represent Christ and how their actions might affect students.

As mentioned previously, I am a Christian myself. I believe that being a Christian is more than a label. It is a calling to live your life in a way that exemplifies Christ himself. I personally know that I do not live up to this calling and fall short of it everyday. However, I know there is a difference between someone who does wrong and recognizes it as such and someone who willfully acts a certain way.

These preachers coming off to nonbelievers in the way that they are is doing more harm to the church than good. People aren't going to want to be a part of something that involves being rude to others. I know some people growing up that have been turned off from the church by another Christian who didn't act like a Christian. Being a Christian doesn't mean you have to like everyone. There are definitely people I have met that I am not fond of; but I am called to still see them the way God sees them, whether that be a part of His family or part of the mission field. Either way, God loves them.

Also, words are very powerful. It is very easy to either lift someone up or tear them down with what you say. When the open-air preachers are telling the LGBT community that God hates them, that is just discouraging and pushing them even further away from the Lord, which is terrible. Also, criticizing someone for what they wear can be very destructive. You don't know what a person is currently battling. Maybe you're not the first person to make a derogatory comment about their outfit. Maybe they can't afford to buy new clothes at the moment. Maybe they are dealing with a much more severe storm and simply don't need unnecessary, petty comments.

Personally, I think it was a good move when these guys were banned. They are not doing themselves or anyone else any good. There are appropriate ways to share about Christ, and these guys just don't get it.
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