It seems more and more common as time moves on for more genders and sexualities to be "discovered" or in a way explained with new terms. Our society has come a long way in terms of accepting more than just cisgendered straight individuals. That being said, we still have a very long way to go. A recent conversation a friend of mine, we will call her Sam, had shocked me with the pure ignorance that still thrives today.

The conversation was between Sam and a friend of hers, we will call him Steve. She was discussing how she identifies as a pansexual, meaning she finds cisgender men and women, along with gender-fluid and transgender individuals attractive and can form romantic relationships with them. She feels very comfortable identifying with this sexuality and has no problem discussing it with anyone who asks which in my opinion is how everyone should feel in regards to their sexuality.

The problem I had with this conversation was on Steve's part. Steve is a cisgender straight male. He told Sam that she, in fact, is not pansexual, but she is straight. He stated that she is, and I quote, "The straightest person [he] knows." His reasoning behind this is because of Sam's preferences in the bedroom, when with a woman. She prefers not to perform oral sex on her partners, most specifically women, but she admits she doesn't enjoy it with either gender.

My point of telling you this story is a bit of a PSA. It can be hard to understand the thoughts and opinions of someone who isn't straight when all you've ever known is being straight; but do NOT let that lead you to believe that just because you don't understand it, or you see it differently than them that you have any right to define someone else's sexuality for them. No matter what your preconceived ideas of any specific sexuality are, if you do not identify with it then you cannot define it, and even when you do identify with a sexuality, you can only define it for yourself.

No matter who you are, who you are attracted to, your sexual preferences, or if you define yourself as A-sexual and only seek the romantic, emotional side of relationships, you are who defines your sexual identity. There is no right or wrong way to be straight, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pansexual or any other sexual identity you define yourself as. Be true to yourself, and identify with whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and confident in. No one can tell you what or who you are.