Don’t forget to Dream

I recently saw a video of Idris Elba online he’s doing a project on keeping your dreams alive, and he is asking people what they want to be when they grow up. He’s not asking children he’s asking people of all ages. That video truly got to me personally because I still have dreams to be an actor, playwright, and I honestly just want to always have theater in my life for as long as I live on this earth. I currently work at a job that pays me well, but it’s not my passion at all. I’m taking my core classes at a two year institution and I catch myself becoming irritable or complacent with my life because I feel like I am not creating plays, or doing shows, or acting at the moment because I am so focused on getting my core classes done, and paying bills. I do plan to become a theater major very soon within the months to come in the future. I just have moments where I get down, and I have a long day at work. I worry “Am I losing my abilities as an artist?” “Am I being stupid for wanting to be a theater major?” I have days I stay up late and study and I work the following morning, or I feel like I’m stuck trying to be great but I’m struggling to stay afloat. Life has a way of humbling you that’s for sure. Sometimes you can’t help but compare yourself to others, you see old friends graduating college, some are getting married, some making a family of their own. It’s beautiful, it’s intimidating, but I have realized my story is different and that’s ok. I’ve always been different growing up. I remember when I was in elementary school and my teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up and I answered gleefully. I said, “I want to be an Astronaut-Cowboy” as you can tell I loved Toy Story so I combined Buzz & Woody together and I honestly thought at the age of seven that was a real career. My teacher replied “You can be anything you want to be with that creative mind.” Years went by and my idea of my career switched from computer scientist, to a chef, to even the President of the United States. I don’t think I want to that anymore, but once I picked up a script I was intrigued I wasn’t the best actor, even now I will admit I still need room for improvement but I love it, I love theater so much because as a kid my reality was not the greatest, being bullied for being overweight, soft spoken, poor, smelly, or to friendly was not ok in my little town. I felt very ugly, and I believed I wasn’t good enough but when I performed on that stage and I sung my songs, I danced, and I believed in my lines my world changed. I saw the beauty God had given me, my talent, my passion, and I was addicted to that feeling. I still am now. Theater is therapy to me, and it’s a part of me. I understand life is always going to be challenging, I accept that. I will not accept being too afraid to follow my dreams. I grew up where teachers told me I can be anything I want to be if I believe. To non-believers telling me I need to think practical, everyone wants to be the next big thing on Broadway. My response to that is, “I wanted to be a cowboy astronaut at the age of seven in the first grade, I believed in that like I believed the sun would rise and set at the same day. Now at the age of twenty two I will be an Actor, playwright, and Director. I will create art for the rest of my life.” If you have a dream chase it until it becomes your reality.