You Are Worth More Than You Know

You Are Worth More Than You Know

I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.

As of today: I have been a freshman in college for two months. What a whirlwind of two months it has been. Everyone will tell you that college changes you but they never say to what extent. As I sit outside the library writing this post, I consider one of those things that has changed from high school me to college me: I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.

In these past two months, my love life, friendships, and life have been rocked to the core. I have had moments where felt stranded, isolated, and alone. My relationships have been tested and sometimes I have failed. My love life has been torn and picked apart. After coming to Texas A&M, I had to face the decision that my relationship with my then current boyfriend no longer worked. This hit me so hard, mainly because I had thought he was "the one".

This relationship was with my first boyfriend. It began when we were both still in high school. He was a year older than me and was everything I was looking for. He was Godly, caring, passionate, and all around kind-hearted. I felt like I had won the lottery in love. After breaking up, I didn’t know how to be so open with someone again, especially after being together for a year and a half.

After this change, I met a guy who listened to me and helped me get over such a heartbreak. I developed feelings for him. There was an instant connection with him and I found myself being so open and vulnerable again, which I didn’t think was possible. I never thought I would lead with my heart over my head, but this one was different. I was worried about putting myself in a place where I would get hurt but I figured it was worth it. We seemed to agree on how compatible we were and that it felt right. It was a great few weeks but then one day he decided it wouldn’t work.

Once again, I felt inferior to the idea of love. I was left alone in my room with just my thoughts and doubts as to what I must have done wrong. Nothing hurt more than being left made a fool out of and constantly feeling like an idiot.

That’s when I knew I had messed up, I let myself think that I was the problem. I let another guy make me feel like a shriveled-up version of myself. From that moment on, I knew that I had to truly love myself and not let a guy dictate who I am.

I’ve realized how much of myself I have sacrificed to make others happy, especially when it came to my relationships. I was so focused on pleasing the people around me that I was always left with the question of “what if” and heartbreak. I forgot how much I am worth.

I wondered, how could I believe I was ever worthless, and why did I let a boy make me feel unworthy of love? After a lot of anger and tears, I found peace in knowing that I love myself. My worth is not decided by whomever I am with but how I see myself. I have been molding and made in the image of God, and have love all around me. My past doesn’t dictate who I am, but merely makes me strong and more prepared to face the future.

While deciding how to regain the love for who I am, I found a quote by Carl Jung which resonated in me. He stated, “the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” This is the most honest and truthful relation to what many of us are going through. Whether in love or just in life, we forget how valuable we are. We are all so loved and worth more than we know, therefore we must never forget that.

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What It's Like To Take A Class With Professor Yuri Urbanovich

My experience taking a class with one of the best professors at UVA.

I have taken multiple classes with Professor Urbanovich during my time at UVA, and he is one of my favorite professors. Not only does he genuinely care about his students, but he also pushes them to learn more than humanly possible in the span of 50 minutes.

Seriously, I have learned more in his classes about Russian history and politics than I could have ever imagined. Professor Urbanovich’s thick Georgian accent and recalls of personal experiences also make his classes more personal, allowing students to understand the nation’s history and politics on a completely different level.

No wonder his classes fill up in a matter of hours when course registration begins!

The best part of Professor Urbanovich’s class is the many repeated quotes that one can uncover during his lectures. I am currently taking a J-term course with Professor Urbanovich and I have noticed that he says some things a lot throughout the course of his lectures, which makes them that much more interesting and fun.

If you’re interested in taking a course with Professor Urbanovich, which I highly recommend, be aware of the fact that Urbanovich will say the following things a lot.

1. My friends...

Professor Urbanovich does not refer to his students as “you guys” or “ my students,” but rather “my friends.” He often starts his lectures with “my friends,” making the class more intimate and welcoming. He welcomes various thoughts and opinions and treats his students in a way that makes it seem like you really are friends with the professor.

I have only taken two classes with him, but he always remembers who I am (a rare occurrence at a large university).

2. It is inconceivable

Professor Urbanovich often says that certain events or occurrences are “inconceivable”, and when he does, you know that the even matters a lot in terms of Russian history. It’s sort of like a marker for the things you should absolutely remember after any given lecture.

Earlier this week, one of his students quoted Urbanovich’s “inconceivable” phrase during a presentation, and the entire class, including the professor, started laughing. It just goes to show how welcoming and fun his classes can be.

3. I mean, can you imagine...

This is something along the lines of “inconceivable”, but it happens on rare occasions, usually when Professor Urbanovich is comparing the US to Russia and explaining how various events that occur in Russia would not be welcomed in the US or any other nation.

For example, the Pussy Riot fiasco that occurred in Russia was a stab at the religious values present in Russia, but we idolize it in the US. If something like this had happened in Israel or any other nation with strong religious values, we would most likely look at it in a different light. I mean, can you imagine…

4. I am so proud of you

Professor Urbanovich values education over number grades, often telling students that he is extremely proud of the work they’ve done and that they will go far in life. He does give exams, homework responses, and various projects, as any professor would, but he often makes students feel accomplished and successful after the completion of any assignment.

His comments on most essays are very constructive and provide guidance toward the development of better writing skills and the creation of more ambitious future projects.

5. Don't throw potatoes at my head

On the first day of my J-Term class, Professor Urbanovich compared our class to a large group of protestors as a joke, saying that we shouldn’t throw potatoes at his head if we did not agree with one of his statements.

Throughout the course of the past two weeks, he has repeated this phrase several times, especially during lectures that might have sparked opposition among students. Professor Urbanovich says this in a joking way of course, and it makes the class seem less intense than it is, almost as if we were not learning 1000+ years of Russian history in the span of 10 days.

Cover Image Credit: UVA

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21 Things To Do On Your 21st Birthday

You’re officially legal! It’s time to celebrate!

You’ve been waiting for this day for, well, 21 years! It’s one of the biggest milestone birthdays there is to look forward to. You probably never thought you’d make it to this point, but now that the day is here, there’s so much to do!

1. Drink!

2. Go out to dinner.

3. Go to the Casino.

4. Go on a winery tour.

5. Drink!

6. See a movie.

7. Drink!

8. Eat wine-flavored ice-cream!

9. Buy something for yourself.

10. Scratch lottery tickets.

11. Drink!

12. Go bowling.

13. Throw a party.

14. Go on a cruise.

15. Drink!

16. Dance.

17. Drink!

18. Go to a club with friends!

19. Celebrate with family.

20. Open presents.

21. Drink!

You’ve waited 21 years to legally have your first sip of alcohol, whether it be wine, beer or some fruity cocktail. The moral of this is it’s time to drink, so indulge yourself.

But drink responsibly!

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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