You Are Worth More Than You Know

You Are Worth More Than You Know

I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.

As of today: I have been a freshman in college for two months. What a whirlwind of two months it has been. Everyone will tell you that college changes you but they never say to what extent. As I sit outside the library writing this post, I consider one of those things that has changed from high school me to college me: I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.

In these past two months, my love life, friendships, and life have been rocked to the core. I have had moments where felt stranded, isolated, and alone. My relationships have been tested and sometimes I have failed. My love life has been torn and picked apart. After coming to Texas A&M, I had to face the decision that my relationship with my then current boyfriend no longer worked. This hit me so hard, mainly because I had thought he was "the one".

This relationship was with my first boyfriend. It began when we were both still in high school. He was a year older than me and was everything I was looking for. He was Godly, caring, passionate, and all around kind-hearted. I felt like I had won the lottery in love. After breaking up, I didn’t know how to be so open with someone again, especially after being together for a year and a half.

After this change, I met a guy who listened to me and helped me get over such a heartbreak. I developed feelings for him. There was an instant connection with him and I found myself being so open and vulnerable again, which I didn’t think was possible. I never thought I would lead with my heart over my head, but this one was different. I was worried about putting myself in a place where I would get hurt but I figured it was worth it. We seemed to agree on how compatible we were and that it felt right. It was a great few weeks but then one day he decided it wouldn’t work.

Once again, I felt inferior to the idea of love. I was left alone in my room with just my thoughts and doubts as to what I must have done wrong. Nothing hurt more than being left made a fool out of and constantly feeling like an idiot.

That’s when I knew I had messed up, I let myself think that I was the problem. I let another guy make me feel like a shriveled-up version of myself. From that moment on, I knew that I had to truly love myself and not let a guy dictate who I am.

I’ve realized how much of myself I have sacrificed to make others happy, especially when it came to my relationships. I was so focused on pleasing the people around me that I was always left with the question of “what if” and heartbreak. I forgot how much I am worth.

I wondered, how could I believe I was ever worthless, and why did I let a boy make me feel unworthy of love? After a lot of anger and tears, I found peace in knowing that I love myself. My worth is not decided by whomever I am with but how I see myself. I have been molding and made in the image of God, and have love all around me. My past doesn’t dictate who I am, but merely makes me strong and more prepared to face the future.

While deciding how to regain the love for who I am, I found a quote by Carl Jung which resonated in me. He stated, “the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” This is the most honest and truthful relation to what many of us are going through. Whether in love or just in life, we forget how valuable we are. We are all so loved and worth more than we know, therefore we must never forget that.

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The Night The Lights Went Out In Jacksonville

We must band together as a family and support our Home, JSU.

Monday, March 19 around 10 PM a tornado swept through the college campus I walk around 5 days a week. The damage was pretty much unknown until the daylight hours. Upon morning we established that the entire roof was ripped off several of the dormitories on campus as well as at least 5 of the academic buildings.

After damage assessment, it was determined that a dual touchdown tornado had struck the campus. The tornado was determined to have been an EF-3 rated tornado based on the damage.

The tornado has happened at this point, there is no way to reverse its effects.

Today began the first steps we took as a university to began resuming life as normal. President Beehler made a press conference at noon saying that the campus would reopen April 2, 2018. A statement was later released that saying the April 2nd date is fluid and is subject to change.

With lots to consider, many of the educators have announced they have no intentions of resuming classes until the displaced students are safely housed.

There was a press release today that mentioned the possibility of portable classrooms. Aith all there is to consider we cannot rush into opening this campus back up so soon.

President Beehler, a week and a half is no time to rebuild buildings or replace entire dormitory complexes. I myself am speaking too soon even. Where will we hold graduation? Where will we study for finals? What will become of the nursing majors with no place to learn?

We must band together as a family and support our Home, JSU. Help your neighbors out, help the displaced, and pray for those attempting to reconstruct the infrastructure.

Some Glad Day, When This Life Is O'er I'll Fly Away.

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Success Is Great, But Failure Is Better

Fail and fail often.

Don’t let success get to your head, but don’t let failure get to your heart. Know that things don’t always work out as planned, and that is OK!

For many millennials, it’s easiest to just give up when something doesn’t go your way. But take heart. Success is great, but failure is better. The reality is, you’re going to fail... a lot.

Failure does not mean your idea was not good or that your dream isn’t valid.

Failure means you have more to learn.

Failure is GOOD.

It shows you that you did something wrong and that you need to take a redirection. It’s an opportunity to come back stronger with a better attack plan. It’s a second chance.

Having failed many times in my life, there’s one thing for sure: failing sucks. It sucks being disappointed. It sucks not succeeding on the first try. However, you can learn to become a good failure.

Failing is inevitable, which is why it is important to learn from our mistakes. You’ll learn more from a single failure than a lifetime of success. Here’s what you can do when you mess up: accept what you can’t change, keep an open mind, maintain a positive attitude, and know that nothing will be perfect.

When I was a sophomore in high school, I was on an engineering team at my school. I was extremely confident in our abilities as a team, so when we didn’t advance to the world finals, I was devastated. The next year, however, my team placed second at the national competition, and we advanced to the world finals. If I had allowed that initial failure to consume me, I wouldn’t have been successful the next year.

It was not easy to advance to the world finals, but because I took my previous failure as a learning opportunity, my team succeeded. I knew I couldn’t change the past, so I didn’t focus on it. I kept an open mind about the competition and did not allow my bitterness to harden me, thus maintaining a positive attitude. My team wasn’t perfect, and I knew that. But I knew if we worked hard, we would succeed. We did.

Every failure is feedback on how to improve. Nothing works unless you do, and nothing works exactly the way you want it to. Failure is life’s greatest teacher; it’s nothing to be scared of. If we are so focused on not failing, we will never succeed.

So fail, and fail often.

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