You Are Worth More Than You Know

You Are Worth More Than You Know

I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.
181
views

As of today: I have been a freshman in college for two months. What a whirlwind of two months it has been. Everyone will tell you that college changes you but they never say to what extent. As I sit outside the library writing this post, I consider one of those things that has changed from high school me to college me: I’m realizing that someone will love me, but that I love myself more than they will.

In these past two months, my love life, friendships, and life have been rocked to the core. I have had moments where felt stranded, isolated, and alone. My relationships have been tested and sometimes I have failed. My love life has been torn and picked apart. After coming to Texas A&M, I had to face the decision that my relationship with my then current boyfriend no longer worked. This hit me so hard, mainly because I had thought he was "the one".

This relationship was with my first boyfriend. It began when we were both still in high school. He was a year older than me and was everything I was looking for. He was Godly, caring, passionate, and all around kind-hearted. I felt like I had won the lottery in love. After breaking up, I didn’t know how to be so open with someone again, especially after being together for a year and a half.

After this change, I met a guy who listened to me and helped me get over such a heartbreak. I developed feelings for him. There was an instant connection with him and I found myself being so open and vulnerable again, which I didn’t think was possible. I never thought I would lead with my heart over my head, but this one was different. I was worried about putting myself in a place where I would get hurt but I figured it was worth it. We seemed to agree on how compatible we were and that it felt right. It was a great few weeks but then one day he decided it wouldn’t work.

Once again, I felt inferior to the idea of love. I was left alone in my room with just my thoughts and doubts as to what I must have done wrong. Nothing hurt more than being left made a fool out of and constantly feeling like an idiot.

That’s when I knew I had messed up, I let myself think that I was the problem. I let another guy make me feel like a shriveled-up version of myself. From that moment on, I knew that I had to truly love myself and not let a guy dictate who I am.

I’ve realized how much of myself I have sacrificed to make others happy, especially when it came to my relationships. I was so focused on pleasing the people around me that I was always left with the question of “what if” and heartbreak. I forgot how much I am worth.

I wondered, how could I believe I was ever worthless, and why did I let a boy make me feel unworthy of love? After a lot of anger and tears, I found peace in knowing that I love myself. My worth is not decided by whomever I am with but how I see myself. I have been molding and made in the image of God, and have love all around me. My past doesn’t dictate who I am, but merely makes me strong and more prepared to face the future.

While deciding how to regain the love for who I am, I found a quote by Carl Jung which resonated in me. He stated, “the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.” This is the most honest and truthful relation to what many of us are going through. Whether in love or just in life, we forget how valuable we are. We are all so loved and worth more than we know, therefore we must never forget that.

Cover Image Credit: 123rf.com

Popular Right Now

To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
65352
views
“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

10 Special Places In Your Hometown You Can't Wait To Revisit When The Semester Is Over

I can't wait to go home!

334
views

Everyone has their favorite local spots that they love in their hometown. These could be famous staples that everyone knows about, or your little getaway when life was hitting you hard growing up. Since being away from home I never understood how important they were to me until I wasn't there. It doesn't matter if you live in Maine or California, everyone has their spot or multiple spots.

Here is a list of 10 places that you will stop at once you get home.

1. Your Favorite Local Restaurant(s)

This restaurant or restaurants always come through whenever you want to eat your favorite food(s). It always made everything to perfection, and nearly every person knows your name in there.

2. Coffee Shop

The place that you always can meet your friends, or a quite place to get work done.

3. High School 

Going back to your local high school is always a positive walk down memory lane to see all your old teachers, and people that affected your life for the better.

4. Friends' Houses 

So many memories are there, and it's always so refreshing to see their faces and talk to people that you have grown up with.

5. Nature Spots 

You know those places that whenever you get to them can make you so much happier and more relaxed? That's what I'm talking about.

6. Walking Around Your Neighborhood 

Walking around your neighborhood is always fun, and you get to see a bunch of familiar faces.

7. Your Bed 

Because what's better than that...

8. Your Local Church 

It is always nice to see your youth group and elders whenever you come back.

9. Grandparents' House

You know when you are going over something good is always waiting behind the door.

10. Top Of A Parking Garage 

The ultimate best view to watch fireworks, sunsets, and sun rises.

Related Content

Facebook Comments