I've been learning a lot of lessons already in 2018, and this has been one of the hardest ones I have learned yet. I get people are busy with their own lives, and you're not always going to be a priority in their life. Yet there is a fine line in being a part of their life and being appreciated and being in their life and always getting ditched for other people.
I've been through a break up before and I have to say friendship breakups hurt a little more. Especially if they have been in your life for a long time and was there for the milestone moments. Yet you deserve to be appreciated. You deserve to be wanted and to be a part of things in their lives. You deserve good people in your life who won't ditch you for their other friends.
I am a people pleaser. I have been a people pleaser my whole life, but I am also someone who has a big mouth and when they're mad they aren't afraid to say it how it is. Here is that moment. I have lost a lot of friends along the way and have made so many friends also. I know people grow apart or we fight and go our own way. Yet this is kind of different. I'm learning I deserve better when I am constantly there for people in my life.
Maybe it's my own fault I invest in people's lives, or maybe that's something they love about me. Yet it hurts so much in the end. You can't always be there for people, and you must pick your battles. Being there for someone is different than making plans and not following through with them, or them picking other people over your plans.
You deserve people who are going to be there for you. You deserve people who will follow through with plans. You deserve someone who keeps their word.
If you're a planner like me then you plan at least a week in advance. Sound familiar? You like your life to run smoothly and when it doesn't you fumble a little and carry on. Well, this one I fumbled and can't carry on. Maybe I need to leave this person behind? Take a break even. I have learned that I am worth making plans with, grabbing dinner with or even going to the beach.
Know your worth. That's also one of the hardest lessons I've learned. You are worth having good people surround you constantly. You deserve to be a priority even if it's in the heart and not in reality. Find good people to surround yourself with and find out where you belong. Sometimes that's not with your longest friends in your life. You will learn to be okay with it, I promise.
Be thankful for the memories you have with them. Be thankful for the adventures and the lessons you've learned together. Keep the memories with you but carry on with your life and take care of yourself.
