“You are who you surround yourself with.” This quote has proved to be one of the truest things I have ever read. You literally are who you surround yourself with. The more you hang out with someone, the more their values become your values, the more their actions become your actions, and the more their beliefs become your beliefs. So with that said, choosing your friends and friend group is something that should not be taken lightly.
On that note, finding new friends especially in college can be challenging. Finding good friends can be almost impossible.
I, along many others, had a rough first semester trying to figure out who my good friends are. Although there were a lot of people I met and hung out with, very few had the values I did. That was something I had to learn the hard way. I learned that there are several good and bad characteristics to look for in your friends. Among these are: having someone who will push you to be better student and all around better person — compared to someone who will push you down the wrong road and not think twice about it.
The hardest and most challenging thing is to let go of a relationship or a person that has been toxic to you or does not add any positive value in your life, but it is also the most rewarding thing to do.
Letting go can be hard, and it can be such a challenging process — especially if you have created a lot of fun-filled memories with them. So far, I have had a hard time with this, especially since I value the people I call my friends so much. Through this tough process, I have come to realize that there are three types of friends in this world: a friendship that is filled with virtue, respect and equal admiration for each other, a friendship that is used only to have a “good time” and a person to let steam off with, and lastly, a person who uses, someone who only appreciates your company when you have something to offer to them or they need something from you.
Along with that I have also realized that there are four main values you should look for when it comes to finding your friend group.
1. Having someone who is happy for your accomplishments and celebrates them with you instead of having someone who sees you as competition.
2. Having a friend who can agree to disagree with you. Everyone, even the best of friends, are going to have arguments. What truly matters is how they decide to value your friendship even after you have a disagreement or argument.
3. Someone who can count on and has your back against anything. No matter what is going on, you know they will defend you against other people when it comes down to it. “In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our words.”
4. And last, someone who not only loves you, but also “tough” loves you. This is someone who truly values your life, and wants to see you succeed in the best ways you can. They will always give their flat out opinion about your actions the things that are going on in your life. Their comments might be hurtful at some points, but they know it is something you need to hear.
Finding the right friends can be difficult, but not impossible.
