That title and headline, whew, You ARE Enough. Three words, each very simple on their own, but, so complicated when used as a phrase. How many times a month do you think you've wondered that about yourself? How many times a week. How many times a day? Think about it... I'm sure if you wrote down a tally each time you wondered ARE YOU ENOUGH, it would be surprising, even eye-opening.
It seems as a society, we no longer believe in treating others the way we would like to be treated. We have become complacent in the way we treat others and even complacent in the way we allow others to treat us. It's all too common to listen to what others say about us, to us and behind our back. Sometimes after hearing things over and over, the perception others have of us become our reality.
Your friends do it. Your siblings or family does it. Your coaches and teachers do it. You even do it to yourself. Let's look into why i believe they all are helping the downfall of your self-esteem.
Friends
Although we have many friends, especially as teens, they don't always have our best interest at heart. Friends often say things in a joking manner but if you dig down deep or really think about it, there is usually some truth there. Adding "I'm just kidding" "lol" or "jk doesn't take away from the impact you feel. "You're so stupid... I'm kidding". "Really you said THAT???" "You like HIM/HER??" "I got more likes on social media." All of these things are things I have heard "friends say. When broken down, kidding or not, can damage your self-esteem. Because you don't feel like you're good enough.
Siblings/Family
In my opinion siblings and family can be the most damaging to your self esteem and feeling like you're enough. Growing up my parents were nothing short of amazing and always supportive. But, now I personally see the torment kids, and teens are put through at the hands of their family. First off, we never want to disappoint our parents, we always want them to be proud of every single thing we do. But they are often the hardest on us. You feel like that 89 should have been an A. That chore wasn't done good enough. The idea of asking for money can be scary because maybe you don't think you deserve it. Siblings are in constant competition. See who has the best report card, see who has the most friends, even see who has the best looking yearbook pictures. Sometimes the people who really want us to succeed are holding us back. No matter how hard we try, we wish we were better.
Coaches/Teachers
Whether they are little league, or school level, Coaches of any sport help mold you into who you're striving to be. It is their job or passion to see you succeed and be better each time you show up to practice or perform. Teachers don't get into the field of teaching for the money, they do it to see a child be a better version of themselves. Sometimes. in the midst of the chaos of having 20+ kids, the focus can be on the negative. Because of this, we question our value. A ball went by, an easy catch was missed, we weren't in the right spot, we didn't focus and get our work completed, we talk too much, we're the class clown, or the class flirt. All of these things alter how we feel about ourselves.
You
This is the doozy... we are without a doubt harder on ourselves than we should be. We will believe the negative words said about us time and time again. We constantly down ourselves in front of others. We think we should be better in school, perform better, have the coolest friends, be liked more than someone else, and overachieve in everything we do. But, here's the thing... YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You don't have to depend on anyone for your happiness. You and you alone hold the key to your future in your own hand. We aren't given more than we can handle. So, that means it doesn't matter what is said about us, how someone tries to make us feel, we are capable of seeing our true value. You were put on this Earth for a much bigger purpose. I promise you it was not to please others. Do not let others opinion of you become you're reality. Your entire life has been written for you, you don't need to know how it ends to decide to be happy with yourself. YOU ARE ENOUGH. Be the best version of yourself, copies are never as good as the original. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Honestly, the opinions of others only matter to them. "Those who mind, don't matter. And, those who matter, don't mind."
