Ever so often I'd be having a pleasant conversation with colleagues when all of a sudden I get asked a question that makes my palms sweat, heart beat slightly faster and mind go racing, “Would you like to have dinner this Saturday?” and for all of two seconds my brain would go into overdrive. ‘Would I really?’, ’Well, I could go but I’m not sure if I’ll have the time’, ‘How much do I like this person to subject myself to an evening with them?’ , 'Would I really like traveling 30 minutes on the subway for this?’
And no matter what answer I give, I end up regretting it later, and more often than not, cancel on said plans. Ever found yourself in a situation where you’re unable to decide between the words yes and no? I have. Plenty of times, just like the one above.
This is, of course, not a great example. But in situations where work is involved, a little bit of extra time to make a decision can really help. Opportunities are few and far between in a city like New York. The need to jump at every chance that seems good is an instinct and reaction that all of us feel. It is hard not to give in to taking up any job at all even if they aren’t benefiting your development because it adds to the experience on your resume. So here’s a way to take a breather and get that little extra time to decide. Give them (the person who is asking) a smile and say: “Let me get back to you on that,” with a slight head nod. Believe me it has worked and I hope you noted the double emphasis.
I personally have felt as though I found the elusive hidden door to option number three. This instant response allowed me to calm the f*** down. One just needs to remember it’s not full proof, but it is an alternative. People don't expect you to make decisions without putting a bit of thought into it. Yes, spontaneity is all well and good when you're 18, but the older you get, the harder the consequences of your choices are. At times when you need to make important decisions and deal with their results for yourself, no matter what advice anyone might give you, this is a significant way to gain time. So consider this not as advice but as a method.
Now remember, do not become the “get-back-to-you-person.” I use this statement mostly for work and sometimes for social gatherings. I also use it when I sit at the dinner table and my mother asks me to pass the butter, “Let me get back to you on that Mother,” I say but clearly only for some good laughs. The point is that it leaves the asker unhurt and with the impression that you prefer to consider and deliberate over situations. This is a good opinion for people to have of you. And the smile is important, not a crazy cheshire cat kind, but a subtle polite smile.
I am sure just jumping into things works for a lot of people, but just give this method a chance. And if THAT doesn’t work, find someone in a corner, look towards them, pretend they called you and slowly walk away waving in recognition. How many times has this approach been beneficial for me you ask? Let me get back to you on that.
