I have three semesters left before I walk across a stage, graduation-gown clad and high-heeled, to shake the president of my university's hand, hug his wife, and receive my diploma. So… then what?

Adulthood. Hello, bills and taxes. Rent. Insurance. A 9-to-5 work day.

But I want to wake up excited to go to a job that I breathe for; one that involves serving people that I love more than myself. I want my job to be a balance that demands me to give it my all so that I will make an impact in this world.

Yet, I have no idea what I want to do.

It’s a paradox. I know what difference I want to make, yet I have no clue what specific field to launch into or path I need to take to get there. I’ve worked hard in college to make the most of my time at this campus. I have tried to find the answers for my future in my involvements, my classes, and the community.

I have done nearly all I can think to do to make sense of my life...

I have racked in countless volunteer hours at two museums. I have a major and two minors. I am the president of a sports club. I am the founding member of a new chapter of a women’s fraternity. I explore my creative energies through writing, photography, and graphic design. I participate in campus ministries and a Bible study. I’ve gotten to try several new things while at college, including the rowing team. I’ve taken religions, philosophy, and anthropology courses, as well as history, biology, and chemistry, that have seriously influenced my character and world views. I had an internship at an aquarium doing water chemistry tests, lifting 50-pound bags of salt to make salt water, and swallowing swamp water when gravel washing. I’ve shadowed my dentist in my hometown, getting to wear scrubs and make patients uncomfortable while sitting in on their teeth cleaning sessions. I’ve worked three jobs, from fast food restaurants to athletic event staff.

I don’t say these things to somehow brag; I say them to show that I really care about my success. I also say these things to illustrate how much I’ve been pushing myself so hard to figure out my future. I don't want to waste my life.

But why is it that when I do all of these things and I spend my sleepless nights researching possible career paths and creating potential post-graduation life plans, I still come up empty? I cannot pick out a path, draw lines from one star to another and craft a constellation of a bright future. Then, society corners me into feeling that being career selection-less means I'm foundation-less and future-less.

That most dreaded question is one you get asked frequently at a university and when visiting your hometown: "So, what do you want to do with that degree?"

But maybe after trying all of these things, I can learn to accept that I will never have a neat life plan contained in a linear time line. Maybe the point of me being so invested, of taking career matching tests, working with counselors and academic advisers, volunteering, interning and shadowing were simply for me to learn that I, in fact, do not have one career path, or even just a few.

Maybe the point of all of this variety and chaos was simply to show me that I need to go with the flow. Be open to all possibilities, not just the ones that seem to make sense. Not force myself into a suffocating box. Not fall into the trap of making a 5-year plan, hoping to get a ring before spring, having a 2-story house with four bedrooms, or pop out two kids by age thirty-two.

Maybe this whole time this thing called college has simply been trying to tell me: breathe. Relax. Because even if I did know exactly what I want to do with my life, and it turned out exactly how I wanted it to until I died, where in the heck would be the fun in that? Where would be the adventure, the lessons, and the laughter?

Maybe it is most exciting to not have a map and compass; to never be in safe harbor. Maybe the answers for my life have been there all along: there are no in-your-face answers and there are no rules. You can be whoever you want. You can try one career or twenty. It’s completely okay to not always have a game plan. This whole adult-ing thing? That can be as drab and logical as you let it be. Or it can be as spontaneous, freeing, and adventurous as you make it.

My life will be whatever I want, and it will be a full one. And ultimately I will get to make a difference every single day no matter what I do, simply by loving and serving others in this world with my actions and words- regardless of the career title on my tax form.

Yes, I’m in college. No, I don’t know what the heck I’m doing with my life. But you know what, I’m truly OK with that. So the next time you ask, what do you want to do with that degree? I'll just smile, chuckle to myself and say,

"To be determined."