New year, new me, right?

If I had dollar for every time I heard someone in my time of middle school, high school, AND college say that, I'd be retired at age 19 and living somewhere where new year resolutions weren't even a thing. In spite of all of those gym-hitters, weight losers and "better people" the first two weeks of the year, I made a few resolutions. (Yikes, that word again.) So, here's a good list of what we should expect of ourselves for 2017.

Along with retiring young this year, of course.

1. Make more than you spend.

This first one could come in handy after a hefty holiday season toll was taken on the wallet. Good thing is, if you're starting the new year with $5.77 in your bank account like most college students, ending the year with more money shouldn't be too hard! Unless you go broke.

2. Not be asked at holidays by your family where your significant other is.

Listen fam, if he hasn't come around yet, it might be awhile. And by awhile, it might not be until I'm 25 before a boy comes to a crazy family holiday. Good news about that? More food for us.

3. Eat... healthier?

This is a complete joke. We all know 2017 will start the same as 2016; you try to eat "healthy" for a few weeks, give up for awhile, and there's NO TURNING BACK. We all know that those 3 a.m. pizza cravings will definitely beat eating a salad for dinner. Maybe we can all agree this goal should be to eat less foods that will decrease our life expectancy significantly.

4. Not have a creepy "slide in the DM's" moment.

Attention all DM sliders: please don't make it awfully scary for the other person. If you're trying to get a someones number, maybe a cute pick up line is nice, or just ask. Don't freak them out.

5. Lose that winter break/freshman 15.

Once again, probably won't happen, but it's worth a try every year. Especially give this one a shot if you're going to some fancy tropic over spring break to get that beach bod. On the other hand, if you give it the college try and it doesn't work out, go somewhere cold over spring break and bundle up. Then nobody cares!

6. Make Saturdays great again.

College game days are over. Trust me, I cried a little on the inside on the last home football game day. But have no fear, Saturday's can be just as fun without the chaos of tailgating and losing your voice. Okay, maybe not. Grab a few buddies and take the blues out of the week.

7. Be fearless...but not dumb.

Here's to the cliché that always tweets "live fearlessly" with some cute quote and tumblr-worthy picture. You're right! Just don't live so fearlessly that you hurt yourself, because that's not what the game of life is all about. Take a risk, even if the risk bites you back and barks when you come home...

8. Take less losses in 2017.

Wow, 2016 was full of game-changers. If I could do the year over, it would include about half as many L's as were taken. Less stair falling, phone shattering, and treadmill tripping would be fantastic this year!

I wish you all the best on whatever endeavors 2017 brings you. I can't even imagine what the world will be like if another 2016 happens, so let's try to avoid that situation as a whole.